A Mother's Fear
Is it wrong for me to feel such depression and anxiety?
I know I'm loved and I shouldn't feel like this, but I just can't seem to feel okay.
I'm sorry but it feels as if all these emotions are consuming me.
I do my best to brush it off so my loved ones won't worry each day.
I love to see our son's smile and wouldn't take any of it back.
I smile and do my best to tough everything out;
However, I feel consumed by shadows and I'm given no slack.
No matter how optimistic, I'm plagued by paranoia and doubt.
I feel ashamed that I even feel this way...
I'm expected to continue on even stronger than before.
If I were to talk, would my family truly listen to what I had to say?
I shouldn't care, but their disapproval would hurt me down to the core.
I struggle to remember to eat or drink here recently.
Cleaning the house and doing easy tasks feels overwhelming.
I've been irritable and I can feel that something's wrong with me.
I want help but I'm afraid someone will say I'm unfit to be parenting.
Copyright © Kassie Buttrey | Year Posted 2020
|