A Mother's Fear

Is it wrong for me to feel such depression and anxiety? I know I'm loved and I shouldn't feel like this, but I just can't seem to feel okay. I'm sorry but it feels as if all these emotions are consuming me. I do my best to brush it off so my loved ones won't worry each day. I love to see our son's smile and wouldn't take any of it back. I smile and do my best to tough everything out; However, I feel consumed by shadows and I'm given no slack. No matter how optimistic, I'm plagued by paranoia and doubt. I feel ashamed that I even feel this way... I'm expected to continue on even stronger than before. If I were to talk, would my family truly listen to what I had to say? I shouldn't care, but their disapproval would hurt me down to the core. I struggle to remember to eat or drink here recently. Cleaning the house and doing easy tasks feels overwhelming. I've been irritable and I can feel that something's wrong with me. I want help but I'm afraid someone will say I'm unfit to be parenting.