Hysteria
The storm was a net of butterflies
let loose in me, and the dark
was you. I look back now at the natural
seduction, how you brought me
a key to open the right kind
of love in my heart, only to be
and how I was just entirely too much
You glued your
lies to my lips because you feared
your lies would be exposed.. What is it called when
we want from others what we aren’t
willing to give in return? Or Do as
I say not as I do.. oh No! Only child syndrome!
You see, it wasn’t you I needed. I tried to walk away long ago..
It was the act of you being so suicidal and threatening that you ending your life would be because of me..
Is why I caved..
you knocked the loudest and became so relentless
and I read
somewhere that self-esteem could be taught.
And had you been more of what
my insecure little girl self
thought she wanted, you never would
have been cast off like disease.
You got into me, under my hope,
and wriggled around until you convinced me
you and I belonged to each other.
But the truth opened me like a knife—
that I loved you only because
I said I did.. you know
Realization sometimes
becomes sudden death,
But in death becomes rebirth
And I have no door knobs...
Now as I am this Gorgeous Freudian Blank Slate
I am much stronger but with a gentler heart
Wiser but not arrogant
Having learned my lesson
No desire to look back
Only laugh
I never could have learned this with you.
;BM
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Copyright © Brandy Michelle Wilkinson | Year Posted 2020
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