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Best Poems Written by Aaron James

Below are the all-time best Aaron James poems as chosen by PoetrySoup members

Details | Aaron James Poem

Thinking of Him

I've stayed up thinking.
Working my mind around things,
What's happened to me,
What's shaped me,
What's made me who I am.

months ago.
He died,
Peacefully in his sleep.
We didn't know until the following morning
10 am.
I was getting ready for a date when i found out.
Ironic, huh?
I cried.
I stared at the walls.
I went for a walk.
I screamed.
I threw things.
I was angry.
So many deaths,
Such a small period of time.

Here's a tribute.
to one of the greatest men, I had ever met.
Who sang songs
While cooking the best food anyone had ever tasted,
Who told insane riddles
That no one could figure out,
No matter how hard they tried,
Who dressed like he was from the 1920's, but trying to blend in with the 21st century.

Here's to the world's greatest father,
Though he wasn't mine.
Here's to the best storyteller,
Who knew things that nobody else would know.
Here's to the smartest man I knew.
Here's to the man who taught me basic cooking knowledge.
Here's to the craziest philosopher.
Here's to the man who raised 5 great kids; one became a blacksmith, two are still too young to know, and the last two, the craziest, best siblings I have, even if I hate them sometimes.
Here's to the man who made me laugh so hard I couldn't breathe every friday night while chasing the fireflies.
Here's to all of the wishes that never came true,
The ones that went like "Please, I want him back. I want this to be some cruel joke. Please, I just want him back."

I was never supposed to know him,
But aren't I glad I did.
He was the best man anyone could know.
He touched so many souls and so many lives...

I just can't believe he's gone,
A word I never knew the meaning of until 10 am on a Sunday.

Details | Aaron James Poem

An Apology

You told me I was pretty
That I was worth something.
Then-
My world fell apart,
I fell apart.
You undid me with your silence.
unraveling for days,
weeks,
months.

What did I do?
I tried to swallow 
my anger and fury 
Like a pill,
But it rose with my bile
And came pouring out of me.
I couldn’t control it.

“pathetic.”
“worthless.”
“ugly, inside and out.”

Your words like knives,
Piercing my skin
Blood falling from sewn together limbs.

Part of me wishes I hadn’t-
That I’d rather live in a world 
Where we still talked
Then a world filled by your silence.

But part of me knows if I hadn’t
I’d still be caught in your orbit,
Circling you and
Feasting on the attention.

We are not star-crossed lovers-
	we never were.

We are not written in time-
	we never were.
I thought we were destined to be tangled
In silk sheets for the rest of our days-
	but we never were.

I’m sorry for everything 
I did and didn’t do
To you,
For you.

What I said were the words of someone hurt,
Someone suffering.
They weren’t meant for your ears.
They were meant for my heart,
Unloading on somebody I thought I had loved.

So much stored anger,
But for the wrong reason.

I hope you read this
And know
How sorry I am.

For everything.

I’m sorry…

Details | Aaron James Poem

N A

Ever since the earthquake that changed my life
Nothing was ever the same
I couldn't walk 
I couldn't talk
I couldn't breathe
For days.
I kept telling myself,
But you wanted it.
You led him on.
You deserved it.
For months
I felt like i was to blame.
I played it off like
It was nothing,
That it wasn't slowly eating away
At my insides,
That it wasn't a deadly poison
That i had taken,
That it wasn't stripping me of my dignity,
Of my self-worth,
Of me.
I was so far gone, 
I never thought i'd be coming back.
So many nights 
Drowned in tears.
So many days
Spent in fear.
So many minutes
Wasted on remembering what you did.
You can call me obsessed,
You can call me ill,
But all I'm doing
Is trying to piece everything together.
It's a puzzle that doesn't quite make sense.
None of the pieces fit together as they should.
There is no known picture.
Eight months
And i can still remember it like it had just happened.
Eight months 
And i can still feel you lingering on me.
Eight months
And i can still smell you.
Eight months
And when i saw your dad,
I was lost in my thoughts
Wondering if he knew
What you had been doing
Behind that locked door.
Behind that locked door
Lay the dignity and self-worth of hundreds of people,
There lay their ability to say No
There lay what little they had to offer
There lay their future
There lay their sleepless nights
There lay their souls, 
Broken and battered.
I wonder if he can see them,
Shaking whenever you waltz in.
I wonder what he would do
If he knew.

Details | Aaron James Poem

Lies I Want To Belive

my parents
they cried together, they died together.
My brother
alive and breathing, 
in the flesh.
my mind
healthy, kind, understanding.

i will get up today.
i will get up and shower,
wash my body under the refreshing water
wash my hair
my body.

i am okay
my hands are steady
my breaths are even.

but these are just lies, you see.
ten years ago marks his death,
two years prior marks the end of something rotten,
marking the beginning of something horrid and scarring.
months go by
as filth collects on my skin
but i cannot be bothered
to wash.
every breath i take
is restricted and cautious
i cannot draw a straight line anymore.

i tell myself these lies to make things better,
but i stop knowing they're fake,
and start think they are real,
that they happened,
or didn't.
they didn't.
they are lies i tell myself.
just lies.

Details | Aaron James Poem

Shooting Victim

Gunpowder residue
Around my mouth
From when you shot me.

Bullets ricochet in my head
Like restless thoughts.

Who knew a false pretense of love
Would hurt so bad?

Who knew the pain would last for years,
Into decades,
Into the rest of my life?

When I close my eyes,
Your hands are on me,
Your breath hot on my neck.
You held a gun to my mouth and said
suck

You pulled the trigger.
You caused me permanent, 
Irreparable damage
That can never be undone.

It’s just a misunderstanding.
I have to learn to live with a bullet lodged in my mind.
You don’t.

Have you talked to 
my therapist about that?
My friends about that?
People who have seen me
Curl up into the smallest possible shape I could,
Sobbing and shaking on display?

Getting caught in the high tide of my thoughts,
Of you and what you did.

I’m drowning with nothing to grab ahold of insight.
You keep tugging at my pants,
Pulling me closer and closer to the bottom of the sea,

You see-
I’m not the only one with this pain.
I am not the only one you shot.
I should have kept that in mind 
When you asked for help,
When you lead me to your room,
When you turned the lights off,
When you ruined me.

We will never be the same 
Because of you.

But we are stronger
Because of you.

We do not owe you a ‘thank you’.

We owe ourselves a ‘thank you’
And an ‘i’m sorry.’

Details | Aaron James Poem

Blood and Sardines

I was addicted to you from the very beginning

They say people can be drugs,
But i didn’t understand what they meant
Until you came into my life.
The sun shined brighter,
The days were longer,
The bids sung louder,
Everything seemed like a fairytale-
Fake.

The first time you let me down,
I stayed away without a second thought,
Without an ounce of hesitation,
For months.
I don’t know how i did it.
I wish i knew how i did it.

But i came back.
Everything about you had me in a trance
You had me wrapped around your finger.
You said go, 
And i went.

They told me to stop while i’m ahead,
While i still have my head,
But did i listen?
Of course not.
I thought you were the love of my life,
That our love was going to be the love of the century.
Why would i stay away?
And then it started coming back to me,
And then i started to realize
What you were doing.
But i still stayed.
I stayed,
And it hurt me so bad
When you left.

You left,
And the illusion,
The fairytale,
Was broken.
I saw through the cracks
I saw what was really going on
I saw what you wanted from me
I know that you see how badly i’m hurting.

Best Poems Written by Aaron James

Mood Swings

Thinking of Him

An Apology

N A

Lies I Want To Belive

Shooting Victim

Blood and Sardines