An Apology

You told me I was pretty That I was worth something. Then- My world fell apart, I fell apart. You undid me with your silence. unraveling for days, weeks, months. What did I do? I tried to swallow my anger and fury Like a pill, But it rose with my bile And came pouring out of me. I couldn’t control it. “pathetic.” “worthless.” “ugly, inside and out.” Your words like knives, Piercing my skin Blood falling from sewn together limbs. Part of me wishes I hadn’t- That I’d rather live in a world Where we still talked Then a world filled by your silence. But part of me knows if I hadn’t I’d still be caught in your orbit, Circling you and Feasting on the attention. We are not star-crossed lovers- we never were. We are not written in time- we never were. I thought we were destined to be tangled In silk sheets for the rest of our days- but we never were. I’m sorry for everything I did and didn’t do To you, For you. What I said were the words of someone hurt, Someone suffering. They weren’t meant for your ears. They were meant for my heart, Unloading on somebody I thought I had loved. So much stored anger, But for the wrong reason. I hope you read this And know How sorry I am. For everything. I’m sorry…