N A

Ever since the earthquake that changed my life Nothing was ever the same I couldn't walk I couldn't talk I couldn't breathe For days. I kept telling myself, But you wanted it. You led him on. You deserved it. For months I felt like i was to blame. I played it off like It was nothing, That it wasn't slowly eating away At my insides, That it wasn't a deadly poison That i had taken, That it wasn't stripping me of my dignity, Of my self-worth, Of me. I was so far gone, I never thought i'd be coming back. So many nights Drowned in tears. So many days Spent in fear. So many minutes Wasted on remembering what you did. You can call me obsessed, You can call me ill, But all I'm doing Is trying to piece everything together. It's a puzzle that doesn't quite make sense. None of the pieces fit together as they should. There is no known picture. Eight months And i can still remember it like it had just happened. Eight months And i can still feel you lingering on me. Eight months And i can still smell you. Eight months And when i saw your dad, I was lost in my thoughts Wondering if he knew What you had been doing Behind that locked door. Behind that locked door Lay the dignity and self-worth of hundreds of people, There lay their ability to say No There lay what little they had to offer There lay their future There lay their sleepless nights There lay their souls, Broken and battered. I wonder if he can see them, Shaking whenever you waltz in. I wonder what he would do If he knew.