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Richard Chidiebere Poem
Time and again he flashes those images before me;
The sin that so easily besets me
You should think that by now I get the picture
That I now understand his whims
That I can say “get behind me, that story is old”
But how I get to fall for a familiar trick,
To be ensnared into a trap I came out of just yesterday
To be deceived by a lie I have heard so many times
That’s my dilemma
And for every time I fall, I run back to my Father in tears
I resolve never to go back to Egypt
Making frantic promises like
“God take my life if I do this again”
The irony, how many times I would have been dead by now
Tomorrow he comes again enticing
The thought of drugs, the booze, them girls in tight skirts
It is all I can do to keep from falling
So I say no… as weak as it sounds
He knows I am about giving in
He goes for the kill
Is your father a merciful king?
I say yes
Will he forgive you after this?
And there ends my resolve
Once again he smiles because today like every other day
I have been defeated.
Or those other nights alone in my room
My headphones plugged in
My eyes glued to my screen
Fingers groping in the dark
For any available lubricant
All this while a war rages inside
You know this is wrong
Come on just this once
You can actually stop this
Yeah I promise this is the last time
Get a hold of yourself
Suspended animation
STOP!!!
Eventually I stop
But only when I am done satisfying my debased lust
With my own hands
The regret, the guilt, the emptiness
I need a way out of this mess
The truth of the matter is
I am strung up
I am tied down
I am in chains
Whichever vocab you choose
It all boils down to the fact that I am addicted
I am a slave to my own flesh
This thing that started off as a pleasure has become my undoing
O! Wretched man that I am
Who will deliver me from this body of sin?
Then I hear Him whisper Grace…
Grace… Grace… Grace
That His grace is there to keep me from falling
That His strength is made manifest in my weakness
That I am in Christ
A new creation, all things
Including this habit,
Passed away
I am brand new,
That when He said it is finished
He was talking about me
That I should know the truth
That whosoever the son of man sets free
Is free indeed
That the power of God in me is at work unto salvation
It is bringing everything;
Including my flesh under obedience
For He has said that sin shall no longer have dominion over me
Now I know this truth I break the yoke from off my neck
I am made free
Copyright © Richard Chidiebere | Year Posted 2017
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