Home » Poems » Best » Maria Boersma » Best Maria Boersma Poems

Best Poems Written by Maria Boersma

Below are the all-time best Maria Boersma poems as chosen by PoetrySoup members

Details | Maria Boersma Poem

Long Embrace

Alone,
Alone with an echo.
Alone with a hollow heart.
Allowing my empty mind to run.
Run from thought to thought.
Deadly thoughts.
My mirrored image is oblivious to the emptiness inside.
She smiles,
She laughs,
She even jokes around,
Everything is silly,
Everything is fun and games;
But for every smile,
Every joke,
For every laugh,
There is a tear,
And a drowned scream for help.
I’m a mute,
A mute in many ways,
Mostly emotional.
And I can’t communicate,
I don’t know hand language;
I know aggression,
And pushing,
And shoving,
Just not love.
I connect with pain.
I connect with the broken,
The ones with the torn past,
Disarrayed life stories.
They leak their pain onto me,
And I suckle at it like it’s the last drop of water in the empty desert of my life.
It feeds me.
I live for those I attempt to fix.
Those who,
Even for a moment,
Make me feel a little less messed up,
A little less broken.
Still,
I usually end up under them,
In their deepest holes.
Alone,
With the only company I dread;
My own.
No one has peeked into the inferno of my mind,
No one has dared,
Cause if they did,
If they opened that Pandora box,
There would be no turning back.
But I long for someone,
Someone to break my barriers,
And cradle me.
Tell me there is some light,
Something good inside of me.
Anything.
Someone to embrace my demons.
Someone to embrace me.

Details | Maria Boersma Poem

My Happy Place

Something changed my life.
At 17 they said I had a milliard of mental disorders,
I got committed to a mental clinic.
That was’t it.
I didn’t go in willingly,
Wasn’t allowed to talk or see anyone from outside for a month.
That wasn’t it.
I’d always had a therapist,
Ever since I can remember,
This one was the one who saved me from myself.
She wasn’t it.
I had many moments of despair,
Many moments where I couldn’t take it anymore.
None of them were it.
Days, weeks, months,
An eternity passed,
I was still there.
The silliest thing happened one morning.
Doing yoga on the corner of the terrace,
The sun was peering through the greenery of the tiny yard.
Then it happened.
As I was looking at the way the sun reflected on the bamboos,
The way even though months had passed and I was still there,
A feeling of peace overcame me.
A peace I’d never felt before,
A peace that only comes from within yourself.
From accepting that where you are,
What you’re doing,
What surrounds you,
It all is exactly how it should be.
I had found my happy place,
And I’d go there anytime I wanted,
By just closing my eyes.

Details | Maria Boersma Poem

Deepest Low

I tried to kill myself two days ago, 
Two days after my 24th birthday.
It didn’t work,
I can’t even do that right.
Instead of compassion and understanding from my family,
Or even love;
I got anger.
They are all pretending nothing happened.
My sister has barely said two words to me;
Even though her actions and words were the last straw that drove me to it.
I feel so worthless,
Like I don’t matter,
Like I won’t amount to anything ever in my life.
My mom is taking me back to the clinic.
She says I need help,
Which I do,
But she fails to see that my family’s love is what I need the most to heal.
God knows what will happen once I’m in there.
I’m going to put my life on hold again.
And God knows what will happen then.
Electroshock therapy?
Tying me to the bed?
They are definitely going to keep me drugged up.
How many more ways can they find to break my spirit?!
I’m the sick one,
I’m the walking symptom;
I’m either pitied,
Or being condescended to.
I just want to be treated like a regular person,
But I’m constantly reminded that I’m not.
I’m just so tired,
Of myself mostly.
All I wanted was this deep void inside of me to go away.
To finally rest,
And maybe even be happy,
Wherever it is I would go.
The ones left behind would suffer,
Yes,
But they’d get over it and move on;
And I’d become a taboo subject and go on to never existing.
Just like it should have been.

Details | Maria Boersma Poem

Abuelo

Kind,
Strong,
Sweet,
Smart, 
Handsome, 
Amazing,
And everything good there is;
and if there are bad things that he had or did,
I don’t recall.
He was the only one I truly loved,
Really from the bottom of my heart.
I never felt so much warmth,
And real,
Genuine kindness from anyone.
He was my partner in crime,
My best friend in all of my adventures and mischiefs.
He understood me by just looking into my eyes,
As I understood him.
I never had to talk about my problems,
For he understood what I needed without me having to say.
He would always bet on me,
Even when I wasn’t betting on myself,
Which would by feeling how he believed in me, 
Made me believe too.
He made me want to excel and be a better person.
Even though I let everyone down,
Every day of my life,
I still feel he wasn’t disappointed. 
He was proud of me.
He loved me,
Amazingly,
He really loved me,
With flaws and all,
He never criticised me.
He was my favourite person in the universe.
I was the best part of me when I was with him;
And he took that with him when he left, 
He is an inspiration to me,
And if not for myself and those around me,
It will be for him that I will strive to reach my goals.

Details | Maria Boersma Poem

It Was Her Eyes

There was nothing special about her,
She was just a girl;
Average at the naked eye.
Not too pretty,
Not ugly either.
Just a girl.
Nothing really standing out about her.
Nothing except her eyes.
They weren’t any special,
Beautiful,
Kind of color.
Except,
For those very few who knew how to look,
And what to look for.
Beneath that seemingly careless gaze,
That happy glow,
That glaze covering them;
There was so much more.
Some could see the pain,
Some would see the sorrow,
The weight of her poor decisions,
The fear of being forgotten,
Of leaving this world of ours untouched.
Some say they could even see the lives she’d lived,
And the many more to come after this one as well.
Some could see the many lives she lived right now,
The ever-changing qualities and virtues,
The constant reinvention in search of redemption.
Redemption of sins she didn’t even truly believe in.
A vague grasp to rid herself of all of that emptiness,
All of the void she kept filling with banalities,
Which of course,
Were never enough.
Her eyes screamed a cry for help,
A cry for understanding,
A cry for nurture.
A cry those who were able to read her eyes,
Ironically could never hear.
The pain was so,
The constant disappointment of letting them in,
Having them see past the vague lies her eyes told,
And not only not alleviate anything,
But most times made it many times worse;
That she decided to shut them.
Shut her eyes,
Those windows to a broken soul.
Shut them for good.
“Keep your gaze down”, She told herself, “They can’t hurt you anymore.”

13.08.07

Details | Maria Boersma Poem

Greatest Adventure

Don’t fool yourself,
You are not pretty,
Smart,
Witty,
Charming,
Funny,
And definitely not thin enough for someone to love you.
If anyone notices you,
It is because they are most likely messed up,
Pity you,
Or have no better choices.
You need to loose at least 100 pounds,
To even get close to anyone worthwhile being by your side,
You are,
And always will be,
The “funny” fat friend,
The one they all keep around to laugh at and make themselves feel better with.
You need to have an adventure.
The adventure of dying from how thin you are;
Because death might be the greatest adventure of them all.
Starving yourself was the only time in your life you were truly happy,
Beautiful and popular.
The only time you were in control,
And going somewhere,
Do it again.
Try that routine,
Exercise to the point of exhaustion.
Exercise CONTROL to the point of exhaustion,
Perfection and beauty in every aspect of your life,
And prepare yourself for the next great adventure.

Details | Maria Boersma Poem

That Sparkling Light

Shining,
Bright and loud,
Mimicking my heart when I witness them,
Following the rhythm,
Every beat,
Some like star-crossed lovers,
Some never meeting at all,
Like lonely souls,
That shine on their own,
Howling with all their might for the whole world to hear,
Some as bright as those eyes,
Of everyone who has ever touched my heart,
My soul,
My life.
Shining,
Like only they can,
Free as everything soaring the skies above everything earthbound,
Free as I once wish to be,
Free as my captive soul has always yearned for.
Shining,
Bright and loud,
For me,
For you,
For us,
Shining like only a form of tangible love could,
So ephemeral,
So intense.
Shining,
Bright and loud,
The song of the dark nights to celebrate,
The dance of all those before us that are long lost.

Details | Maria Boersma Poem

Make Me Feel

He humiliated you.
Eye for an eye,
Maybe we’ll all end up blind;
But that way no one will see how broken he left you.
How much shame overcomes you.
He didn’t break you.
But he shattered the pieces just a little bit more.
And he smiles,
And you smile,
But now you realize you’re empty inside,
And he does not care,
Not even a little bit,
Not even a smidge.
He needs saving,
And as usual,
You want to save him.
You can try,
And perhaps you can succeed,
And while at it,
Save yourself.
Everyone needs someone to bet on them,
I think I’m going to bet on him,
Hoping he will bet on himself,
Then he might bet on me too.
Saving him is my new project,
Since,
Clearly,
Saving myself isn’t motivation enough.
He makes me feel something again,
And just for that,
I’ll be forever grateful to him.
Feeling,
Anything at all,
Makes me feel alive;
And although it hurts,
It’s better than feeling nothing at all.
This pain is the bliss life was meant for.

Details | Maria Boersma Poem

It's Not All Bad

Qualities and virtues.
Qualities and virtues of my own.
To be honest I don’t think that much of myself;
Some people seem to differ.
I can write,
I’ve won every writing contest I’ve entered.
I love to sing,
I don’t quite like my voice,
But people seem to think it’s pleasant.
I’m trustworthy,
You can trust in me, 
And I’ll guard my secrets
With all of me.
I love to draw,
Sketch mostly,
And although they aren’t gallery exhibit worth it,
They are my autobiography.
I love to dance,
And although I feel I’ve lost that gift,
You can say I’ve still got some rhythm.
The only thing I pride myself on is being a good friend.
I will care,
Fight,
Listen,
Do anything for you,
And most times won’t expect anything in return.
I like helping others,
You could say it’s one of my passions.
Charitable work makes me feel like I’m giving,
Just a little,
Back to the world.
I’m kind and gentle,
When it pleases me of course.
When I want to,
Or feel safe.
I’m honest,
Sometimes too honest,
Brutally honest.
But I don’t enjoy lying and hurting anyone on purpose,
Specially those I love;
Not anymore.
I honest to God love caring for others,
My puppies are a huge example of how I do think of others.
They make me think that deep inside me I am capable of love.
Maybe I will do alright,
I am not an angel,
Nor a demon.
I just am,
And I hope thats's enough.

Details | Maria Boersma Poem

Skinny Me Please

I always get what I want,
One way or another.
Let it be men,
Objects,
Care,
Money,
Almost anything,
I get it my way.
The one thing I’ve never gotten is to be in my ideal weight.
Be as thin as I want.
I’ve been told I have amazing will power,
And if I’ve managed to almost get there once,
I can definitely do it again.
I’m so morbidly obese now,
That I know it’ll be harder.
I have proposed to myself that if they manage to put me back here in the clinic again,
It will be for anorexia.
That if they manage to catch me,
To see it,
Notice it.
But I know for a fact they won’t.
I still don’t want to live,
So the quietest,
Simplest way to go about it,
That I can see,
Is starving myself to death.
That way they won’t blame me for it,
Because in my nucleus and family,
As long as you’re thin and beautiful,
Everything is fine.
I’m done being fat.
I don’t care if I’m healthy,
I just want to be beautiful.