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J. R. Corbin Poem
Bob the Chicken
Twas time for bed and to his wife Bob said,
“Goodnight dear, I hope you sleep well.”
But during the night, Bob gave up the fight,
But at least he didn’t end up in hell.
And Bob sat at the gate, not knowing his fate,
And though there was no answer why,
Although he persisted, St. Peter resisted,
While Bob whined, “I’m not ready to die!”
So filled with compassion, and after a fashion
St. Peter finally gave in.
“I’m sorry, it’s cruel, and you’ll feel like a fool,
But the best I can do is a chicken.”
In less than a beat, Bob found himself eating
up corn in a yard full of dirt.
And he started to curse, “It couldn’t get worse,”
Then an old rooster started to flirt.
So after the deed Bob continued to feed,
But could hardly stand on a leg,
And the pressure was great, not from something he ate,
Bob found himself laying an egg!
Didn’t know why it should, but it felt pretty good,
In fact it was really quite fun.
So he grunted and pressed, and by now you have guessed,
Out popped another one!
He was really surprised when he opened his eyes,
So alarmed by what his wife said,
It was all just a dream and he heard his wife scream,
“My God Bob, you’re shitting the bed!”
Copyright © J. R. Corbin | Year Posted 2016
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Details |
J. R. Corbin Poem
Last Week I Couldn’t Spell Homophobe
(Now I Are One)
When I was just a lad
I leaned from mom and dad
To treat each human being with respect,
But now that I am grown
I nearly stand alone,
You see I’m branded, ‘Not Politically Correct!’
Oh I have my own suspicions,
When I argue for traditions,
for my folks were steeped in the red, white, and blue.
And I would have bet good money
That most people thought it funny
When ol’ John opined about ‘A Boy Named Sue!’
But somewhere along the line
Someone changed ‘the bottom line’
And for years I wasn’t quite sure how to be.
And I guess it wasn’t fair
When I said I didn’t care,
In the times I found that ‘he’ was really ‘she’.
So they re-arranged my life,
Adding to my normal strife,
And I tread on easy water for I fear
That if I don’t watch what I say,
I’ll offend some person gay,
Just because when I was younger, they were ‘*****’.
I suppose that there were those
Among my heroes and my foes,
Whose persuasions were much different than mine.
But what really baffles me,
When they came out to be free,
That somehow, my beliefs now crossed the line!
Well, I’m much older now,
And I’ve made myself a vow,
Since I can never be more than what I am;
I’ll always treat you with respect,
Hell, I even get the check,
and if you’re *****, I just don’t give a damn!
Copyright © J. R. Corbin | Year Posted 2016
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