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Bob the Chicken

Bob the Chicken

Twas time for bed and to his wife Bob said,
“Goodnight dear, I hope you sleep well.”
But during the night, Bob gave up the fight,
But at least he didn’t end up in hell.

And Bob sat at the gate, not knowing his fate,
And though there was no answer why,
Although he persisted, St. Peter resisted,
While Bob whined, “I’m not ready to die!”

So filled with compassion, and after a fashion
St. Peter finally gave in.
“I’m sorry, it’s cruel, and you’ll feel like a fool,
But the best I can do is a chicken.”

In less than a beat, Bob found himself eating
up corn in a yard full of dirt.
And he started to curse, “It couldn’t get worse,”
Then an old rooster started to flirt.

So after the deed Bob continued to feed,
But could hardly stand on a leg,
And the pressure was great, not from something he ate,
Bob found himself laying an egg!

Didn’t know why it should, but it felt pretty good,
In fact it was really quite fun.
So he grunted and pressed, and by now you have guessed,
Out popped another one!

He was really surprised when he opened his eyes, 
So alarmed by what his wife said,
It was all just a dream and he heard his wife scream,
“My God Bob, you’re shitting the bed!”

Copyright © | Year Posted 2016

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