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Best Poems Written by David Sollis

Below are the all-time best David Sollis poems as chosen by PoetrySoup members

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Monday's Child - Parody

Monday’s child will slap your face,
Tuesday’s child is a disgrace,
Wednesday’s child stamps on your toe,
Thursday’s child just won’t go,
Friday’s child is most unforgiving,
Saturday’s child won’t work for a living,
And as for the child that’s born on a Sunday -
– they’ll tell you lies and steal your pay.



Originally posted on my blog with a supporting cartoon & story, which can be seen here: http://wp.me/p2mUkP-yc

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Culture Clash

In Oxford and Cambridge, they can get jolly batey
‘cos they don’t speak proper wot like I do matey

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Many Unhappy Returns

It’s a work day
And it’s my Birthday
All the fours
Male menopause
A Grade - A
Gray Day
Life’s not designed
To be kind
Never mind – eh!

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A 4 Line Poem For H

I know a little girl named Hannah
A pretty, bashful and quiet child
But when she goes to visit Nanna
She eats too much chocolate and goes wild!

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Gold Digger

half his age
and nearly twice his
height
pretty as a picture
but none too bright
 
he loves her open
arms (and legs) –
his “tart”
spread-eagled on his
sports-car’s bonnet
 
she likes him for
his open mind and
open heart
but most of all –
his open wallet
 
she intends to stick
with him through
thick and thicker
and is most
“concerned” about
his dodgy ticker



you can see my
illustration &
original poem on my
blog here -

http://tap-p.com/2014/08/22/gold-digger/

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Weekend Away

A young gentlemen named Grant Cragnell
Sought debauchery in Newport Pagnell
He got terribly drunk
Before sharing his bunk
With a midget and a brown cocker spaniel

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Poor Salesmanship

An estate agent from the Forest of Dean
Was known to be terribly mean
His clothes they would reek
As he'd worn them all week
But he was doing his bit to be green

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Dog

It
Bit!


[I wrote this one when I was a school boy - it's my stab at the shortest poem in the world ever]

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Mr Bowman

There was a young man named John Bowman
Who was renowned as a bit of a showman
He practiced Yoga
Dressed in a toga
Convinced that he was a real Roman

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Mirror, Mirror -

Mirror mirror on the wall,
why are all my clothes too small?
Please mask my cellulite and fat profusion,
with the magic of optical delusion.