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Best Poems Written by Travis Bonnell

Below are the all-time best Travis Bonnell poems as chosen by PoetrySoup members

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Dreams Into Reality

I had a dream of you again tonight...that makes it about 3years strong....i wonder what the real thing will feel like...to hold you...to see you smile for the first time...the first time you cry...as i put my finger in your hand and you squeeze i wonder what joy will course through my veins...to say your name...to watch you sleep...to watch you as you try to figure out the world...will i miss your first words...or when you crawl...the first time you try to walk will i be there to catch you when you fall...your first birthday...will i be the dad you need me to be....will i fail...all these questions and the worst one i havnt even said....i hate to think it but it has came into my mind every once in a while...what if i never get to meet you...never have the chance to fail or succeed...to never watch you grow..to never have a chance to love you..to never be a father...what if my dreams never become reality....

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Sleepless Night

i lie here
but never can i sleep
thoughts of u haunt me in my dreams
i find ways to make it easier to forget u 
but u still remain in my soul
this is not fair
why am i the one left to bleed
why must i cut myself open to release u
ashes to ashes and dust to dust 
but im the only one who got burned
i dont understand why i cant heal from this
hearts mend so slow
never again will i fall for this
guard myself from the world
surround myself with safe faces
but they seem to drift away
not knowing why or were things went wrong 
still tears me apart
if u wanted me to think it was my fault 
u did your job
i try to stay away from u 
but i find myself staring right at u
endless lies ive tried to fool myself
hell maybe they're true
all i kno is u dont think of me
so why i cant forget you

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Proposal

i sit alone 
and i think and i write
i start in the day
and don't finish til night
words keep flowing
from my mind to the page
sometimes i think
its getting harder with age
to find good things
in my life that inspire
only wish is for love
its all i desire
to have and to hold
someone so dear
to dry her eyes
and tell her there's nothing to fear
my day will come
i still do believe
that one moment 
when i drop to one knee
im not sure yet
how where or when
all i hope 
is to hear yes in the end

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Suffocate

Everyday I die a little more inside,
But my heart is on my sleeve,
So tears that pour from it drip,
Until I’m gasping for air, I’m drowning
As life moves forward 
Im left searching through memories
Self analyzing, criticizing, profiling
Demoralized by how I got here. 
Who was I? Who did I let ruin my life? 
Anxiety and depression I had never met
Yet somehow they became all I knew.
I’ve awaken but to what reality?
Nightmares have became real
Happiness is all but a dream. 
When I shut my eyes all I see is you.
But when they open the emptiness of the world around me closes in, I can’t breathe.

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Waking Up

why i stay in the past ill never kno
if i cant move on i guess ill never grow
heart still yerns for u
even tho i try to lie
i wanna hide it
but u can see it thru my eyes
pain it never subsides
i just carry it very well
all this work im doin
is it for me or really for u
either way it pushes me
and i dont think anyone can tell
but ive been wrong before 
thats too obvious
people read me like a book
but no one can tell me what happens
in the next chapter
is it wrong to want you
to wanna hold you and never let go
holdin on to the weakness
letting go would be so easy
easier said then done
release your grip on me
let my dreams rest
why stick around when you dont want to
just do us a favor and leave
wakin up inside
alarm going off
set it forever ago
this clock must be broke
one of the many things i must repair
im not mr. fix it
so again i rely on someone else
so many questions
text books are all blank
pages empty as my heart
only filled with lessons already learned
not sure were im headed
only kno were ive been
but in the end im good
letting go should be the end
but its only the beggining

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Absentee

until i was eight 
i thought you were another man
raised by him taught by him
but i did not understand
i didnt look like him
nor did i think
that it felt real
then in a quick blink
he was gone too
me and my brother 
us with just our mom
to two little kids
they think they did wrong
why did he leave 
and is he coming back
later on i found out 
i had nothin to do with that
and nothin to do with him
from then on out
i had to figure out
what my real dad was about
then i found out quick
that he wasnt about a thing
only care he had
was where was his next drink
but i tried to make it work
for the next seven years
but when my grandfather past
is the first time you brought me to tears
you told me it was my fault
i couldnt believe my ears
that was the last time
i talked to him for years
then my grandma past
and i seen him again
i tried to give him a hug
a sorry for our loss
but he just ignored me
a line again he crossed
askin me why
my mamma was there
unlike you dude
she's there because she cares
unlike you
your absentee ass
go back to the things you do
dont contact me
and dont ask how ive been
cuz know til you gone 
now im absentee til the end

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Ups and Downs

Some days I feel like I have achieved so much
and others i feel like I haven't  accomplished a thing
Sometimes the years fly by
and other times, days never end it seems 
Sometimes I feel so alone
which is probably my biggest fear
but then I just think of my family
and my friends that has been there
and the ones who have had my back
through whatever ive had to face
just know in my heart, for you
there is a special place
thanks for always giving me hell 
when i needed to listen the most 
and thanks for always holding me up
when i just wanted to fall, trust me ive been close
i really dont no where id be
who'd id be or what id do without yall
best believe when my star shines
we all gonna ball

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God's Plan

Gods plan
i do not kno
just keep my faith
and walk the road
here and now
or ten yrs in
ill follow him
til the end
holy spirit
protect my soul
and take it 
when i have to go
its mine for now
but urs when ever
thru u
ill live forever

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Fate

Strong ,but weak for some time
Whole world around me
but yet i'm blind
Can't see what ahead of me
still wanting what was mine
Runaway, runaway
runs thru my mind
I sometimes get away 
but am destined to return
No one sees all the marks ive made
all the scars ive earned
Or the tears i cry 
for they dry too fast
I try to drown my sorrow
but the freedom never last
So here i lay 
in the bed i've built
Left with nothing 
but sadness and guilt
Take another drink
til i float away again
I'm alone on this journey
im my own friend
Or am i the enemy
i am fighting with this
Do i forgive myself 
and live in ignorant bliss
Or do i punish myself
for what ive done
No matter the option
the battle is never won
Decisions, decisions 
i have to make
Cuz in the end
I determine my fate