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Faizah Spence Poem
As my heart feels the pain we’ve been through
~I cried
As my eyes remembered the way they looked at you
~They cried
As my mind reminisces on the good and bad times we have had
~It cried
As my soul misses your soul and my heart misses your heart
~ My Spirit cried
Knowing we will never be able to laugh together again…..I screamed
But knowing that you will never cry again….I laughed
NOTE: Even though you’re gone. I still have your goodness inside of me and that helps
me smile… Therefore, I laugh…
Copyright © Faizah Spence | Year Posted 2011
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Faizah Spence Poem
You are a lady of stature, a lady of peace
You are a lady who is compassionate and quite unique
Unique in your ways, thoughts, and expressions
A mentor to all, in helping others understand life’s lessons
I wanted to give you a gift, but what can I say
You are a lady who wants for nothing, you are blessed in many ways
So I’ve decided to give you something no one else can
A poem from my heart to make you understand
Your impact on my life, I will never forget
Your thoughtfulness and blessing to me I appreciate and accept with respect
I will never take for granted the kindness you have shown to me
You are a genuinely caring woman, and I know for a fact many others agree
Your smile brightens up a room; your laughter is pleasant to hear
The funny stories you share with me make it very clear
You are a lady of knowledge, wit, humor, and class
Splendid in personality, even on your most trying day you still find reasons to laugh
In close, I give thanks to God too
Because in your love for him you are a phenomenal woman while “Just Being You”
Copyright © Faizah Spence | Year Posted 2011
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Faizah Spence Poem
My heart overtakes me
Sadness covers my eyes so I cannot see
My heart desires to be free
My heart overtakes me
Loneliness and I sit under the weeping willow tree
My heart has sorrows deeper than the sea
My heart over takes me
Brokenhearted load too heavy to carry
My heart suffocating this is scary
My heart over takes me
Sacrifice screams frantically
My heart, my heart let me be…
Copyright © Faizah Spence | Year Posted 2011
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Faizah Spence Poem
Fantasies of a Lovers Corral invaded my mind
Pronounced reality I could no longer find
I didn’t know, one could be turned on so much
It was just my tenderfoot that he did touch
Forbidden thoughts excited even the most conservative side of me
Could this be?
It was electric, I mean electrifying…
With my mind open like the sky there was no denying…
I was hooked… a sensational orgasm explodes inside of me, like a clock striking twelve…
Alarms ringing, I muzzled pleasures moan, so no one could tell
I was imagining him as my lover, our bodies hot burning like fire
Passionately holding each other, his touch, I addictively desired
This was a disaster of the most brilliant kind
Although this is not reality, inside myself I did find
Deeply hidden lust covered by a veil
Colored with a hint of wishful thinking while I ponder the Fantasies of a Lover’s Corral
Fairytale
Copyright © Faizah Spence | Year Posted 2011
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Faizah Spence Poem
You took me so far from myself, that I forgot who I was
A stranger looked back at me in my own mirror
I heard a little girl crying inside, but yet I couldn’t see her
What was that shadow under my dress?
Daddy’s little girl, singing a song, “You ought to been there when the Lord saved me.”
I sang well, yet I was still waiting to be saved…
Don’t you all see me, drowning in hurt being strangled by darkness?
What was that shadow under my dress?
Daddy, daddy, daddy… But you’re my daddy
Fathers sell not your daughters as whores, for if you do your nation will be turned to
Whoredom…
Daddy, daddy, daddy… But you’re my daddy
What was that shadow under my dress?
Being led around by darkness bound by the invisible leash of my innocence
Nothing was the name that he gave me…
If you love me you won’t tell, was the silence of that song he played for me…
What was that shadow under my dress?
Reaching around in my world of darkness trying to find something, anything to hold on
to…
Beyond the point of feeling blue…
Each day, molestation was nothing new…
What was that shadow under my dress?
Asking what more do I have to take before being left alone…
Confusion choked me…
Why?, Was the only food I could eat…
Why didn’t anyone help me? Why was I left alone?
What was that shadow under my dress?
Taking a bath was like bathing in the lake of fire…
Red raw rashes, whips and lashes where the clothes that he gave me…
It was actually a relief when he only beat me by a tree…
What was that shadow under my dress?
Cursed from the day I was born, being taught before I could walk how to pose for
porn…
My panties pink with flowers, being pulled off of my body every midnight hour…
Sexual deviance being sown into my DNA
Innocents told me, that’s just the way Daddy’s like to play
What was that shadow under my dress?
Time has passed and Daddy’s gone to and been released from Jail…
Over 22 years he was locked up a sexually violent predator civilly committed never
supposed to sleep outside of a jail cell…
Throughout my life those who have heard my story considered me blessed…
Yet I still struggle and pray one day I can truly understand what that shadow was
under my dress…
Copyright © Faizah Spence | Year Posted 2011
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Faizah Spence Poem
As Far as I Can Throw Ya!
I don’t trust ya
Used to, but not now
How, how can I?
My kindness you’ve taken for weakness
For granted is how you took my meekness
I don’t trust ya
Used to, but…How? Now? Why?
I can’t lie… I just don’t
You screw my emotions like a rapist overdosing on Viagra
I know sooner or later, I will no longer want to have ya
I’m exhausted… emotionally drained
Never thought you were so into playing head games
Truly, I will never be the same
Why? Cause I don’t trust ya
Used to, but now I don’t… I won’t… I can’t
As far as I can throw ya, I can trust ya
And I can’t throw ya at all
Copyright © Faizah Spence | Year Posted 2011
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Faizah Spence Poem
As I walked into the court room
Whispers shoving past my ears
Sharp glances cut me like razor blades
Negative energy so thick in the air it suffocates me
Still they question – What is she smiling about?
Hate was charging me with attempted murder
Greed was first on the list of witnesses against me
Lust and Envy were being held in contempt
Prosecutor Strife showed up wearing a black suit and a lie
Fornication drew many pictures
Sin took a plea bargain, and testified as the prosecutions star witness
Assistant Prosecutor Regret, worked hard to compile a jury of my fears
Adultery yelled, “Hear ye, Hear ye, everyone rise, the Honorable Judge Grace presiding.”
Doubt wouldn’t stop staring at me
Vanity was the picture shooting court reporter
Salvation was my court appointed attorney
Forgiven was the only witness for my defense
Victory over the enemy was my attorneys closing statement
Free was the verdict that Judge Grace gave me
Copyright © Faizah Spence | Year Posted 2011
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Faizah Spence Poem
Hurry up Day
I wish you would just go away
You always give me so many things to do
You never give me rest and that’s why I can’t wait to be through with you
You move so slowly and your much too long
The longer you drag, the more things go wrong
You wake me up when I want to sleep
Every time I’m around you, you send me home tired and weak
You’re selfish and you only want to have your way
You run me around so much; you never give me time to play
Sometimes people ask me, where has the day gone?
I tell them I don’t care, because I’ve been with Day much too long
So, Hurry up Day, I wish you would just go away
Because my true love Night is coming and this time I’m begging him to stay
Copyright © Faizah Spence | Year Posted 2011
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Faizah Spence Poem
One day, my heart broke 1000 ways, when I thought only one break was possible
I immediately yearned for understanding, yet found none
Hostilities? Yes, I have some
Today
I’m hurting everywhere
Yes, there…. Yes, even there too…
Help me… I can’t breathe…
Anxiety? Yes, I have some
I just want to sleep this life away…
Yesterday, Tomorrow, Today…
Ouch! I’m telling you this really hurts
I think I’m ready to die now…
How? I don’t know…can you help me?
Just…Just… Run me over with your car…Oh! Or better yet, choke me…
Yeah! That’s good…Just put your hands around my neck and squeeze…
Tighter, tighter, come on…. TIGHTER…
Suicidal tendencies? Yes, I have some
Damn, why do you say you can’t do this anymore?
You leave me hurting, you turn your back on me to ignore
My pain and suffering you cannot bear… So your leave me in this place of despair
Depression? Yes, I have some
But around and around and around… This is my life
Hurt!!! Trip, there I go again…trip, there I go again…
The same pain, the same let downs, the same disappointments…
So what’s my problem???
I’ve already told you!!! One day, my heart broke 1000 ways, when I thought only one
break was possible…
Copyright © Faizah Spence | Year Posted 2011
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Faizah Spence Poem
Darkness of my soul
Flowing deep within the color of my eyes
Excreting a heavenly passion for pain
Fears of the unknown
Puzzling my mind with homicide
I fear life’s lowest points
I fear being alone
Carefully placing a thought upon each action
Abandonment flows deep within my bosoms
Releasing a milky flow wondering if I will drink it
Capturing my imagination onto a picture so colorful and bright
Dreams never all go away
Trust is my mother
Fornication is my father
An Abuser to the bone
Ugliness through his soul
Daddy’s little girl
It’s no longer our word
An emotion filled with temptation and molestation
Life is but a dream
Screw your daughter
There’s no time for law and order
But honor thy father and thy mother?
The meek shall smile big
The guilty shall smile thin
God is above
But gravity holds us down
Back up and re-read the script
For happiness has passed you by
Copyright © Faizah Spence | Year Posted 2011
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