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Edward Stute Poem
Never have I heard such a sweet voice. Never have I heard such beautiful words. You never ceased to find a way to amaze my ears, my eyes, and my heart. But now I realize how much more I am missing. You seem to understand my tears but yet you continue to cause them, because when I hear your voice I collapse on the floor, my eyes begin to pour. I lay there thinking of what I lost. You probably would sit there and laugh it off. I feel so wrong. You raped my heart and threw it on the ground. It doesn't matter what time of the day it is, it hurts the same to me. When I see your face I start to cry. Put my head inside my
hands, Try and gain control back again. It has never worked once, but its the only hope I
have. One day you will look back and see what you never saw before. I will still be here
for you. But its when you rip out my heart and suck the love clean then shove it back
inside and forget all about me that I cannot comprehend. I feel my arm reaching for the
gun. Tears run down my face for the last time. I put the bullet in the clip. load the clip in the gun. Cock the pistol back and Whisper "wont this be fun". I put it to my forehead,
Nothing told me to stop. That night you ripped out my heart
you took my soul with it. I place my finger on the trigger and pull as hard as I can. but before the bullet hits my brain and my life comes to an end, one final thought runs through
my head. "I wish you could love me the way I loved you. I wish I could show you all the things I did for you." But now that's not possible, there's a bullet in my head. I wish I could say I love you just one last time, but it doesn't matter now, for I am already dead...
Copyright © Edward Stute | Year Posted 2011
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Edward Stute Poem
I feel my love bleeding out. Being sucked out. Being ground into pieces as tiny as dust. A
fan lays under and blows them all away, never to be found again. Maybe its just me. Maybe
my existence is wrong. Maybe I'm just a bad person. I love like no other and yet I am just
to have my love drained once again. Maybe its poison. Maybe all I'm doing is killing my
loved ones. Maybe I just don't deserve love. Maybe I'm an abomination doomed to walk this
world lonely until I fall over and die. Life is a misunderstanding to me. I don't know why
we live it just to die 100 years IF that later. Maybe I should just let the life be sucked
out of me as I go from one crushed feeling to the other. Maybe I shouldn't wait and just
do it myself. It seems not to matter. I've always just been someone who's there. Someone
to talk to when no one else is around. I cannot comprehend living with this any more. Its
the beginning of the end. All I see is darkness now. I've lost my spec of light.
Copyright © Edward Stute | Year Posted 2011
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Edward Stute Poem
I lay here thinking about what i have said and done. One of my arms is flowing the life
from my body, the other is holding the blade. I sit here crying. This is true pain. I
understand what it means to hold whats closest and yet it pushes you away. You will never
understand the love i hold for you all days. It looks as i am not alone in this feeling,
but I cannot be sure. I cant decide if want to hide my love or have you drop it on the
floor. Why does life persist to burn my heart with passion if my body does not deserve
what it wants. it makes me feel like I'm nothing when you want to tell me i am. you seem
so convinced and yet my soul hides, it stares at all my imperfections and tells me i am
disgusting. My gut says I'm a freak but you tell me I am amazing. I feel like imperfection
to the world and you say it doesn't matter. you are who you are and the rest just makes
you you. Fading back in from my thoughts i discover. you are the one i love but yet it
doesn't matter. My wrist is still bleeding, my thoughts grow smaller. I begin to tingle
all over my body. The light is getting darker my will grows less stronger. Maybe if I die
you will soon realize what truly matters.......
Copyright © Edward Stute | Year Posted 2011
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Edward Stute Poem
I can feel it ripping.... I try and I fail. Over and over again. my hearts
distentegrating. my feelings along with it. But it doesn't matter. they never mattered
anyway. I always hoped one day you would feel the same. I was wrong, I'm just to different
I guess you could say. I feel the lighter strong, as it is pressed against my skin. If my
love doesn't burn hot enough. Maybe my body and soul will....
Copyright © Edward Stute | Year Posted 2011
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Edward Stute Poem
The way the blade slices
the way the blood pours
the way it wont stop
the way it cannot be controlled
the way the blood drops onto the cold floor
the way it starts to puddle
the way i grow cold
the way i lose feeling
the way i drop down
the way my vision goes black
the way my heart sinks
the way im just barely gripping onto life
the way the light is bright
the way i wake up on that operating table
the way it was cold that night
the way i snuck out
the way i fell down in the field
the way i looked at my wrist
the way it was stitched
the way i ripped them out
the way it started to bleed again
the way the blood comes to see the moon light
the way my blood soaks the dirt
the way i start to fade out
the way i start to think
the way my life ends here when i wake up laying on my bed
the way my chest hurts
the way the knife pushes against my pocket
the way the blade gleams in the light
the way i take it in my hand
the way i push it into my heart
the way in seconds my dreams come true
Copyright © Edward Stute | Year Posted 2010
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Edward Stute Poem
my feelings are in shreds
i cannot think of them now
as i feel so lonely
crying on this bed
my time is up
just leave me for dead
as i feel so lonely
sitting on this this bed
my life is so worthless
she threw me out like crap
as i feel so lonely
standing on this bed
my mind has ceased
i cannot think
as i feel so lonely
grabbing the razor on this bed
my body has given up
it has merclisly dropped
as i feel so lonely
watching the blood drip on this bed
my heart has stopped
i cant feel it beat
as i feel so lonely
dieing on this bed
My love is lost
never to be found again
as i felt so loney
laying dead.... on this bed...
Copyright © Edward Stute | Year Posted 2010
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Edward Stute Poem
thoughts of cutting, slashing, burning. misunderstood but hateful bliss. i just want to be
shot through the heart. not so smart. but yet for some reason seems like the best
solution. always does. yet i cant bring myself to pull the trigger. something holds me
back. not sure what it is. but ive lost the will to live, so... confusing, never the less,
nothing can be done. im lost in my own misery and i cant get out.
Copyright © Edward Stute | Year Posted 2010
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