Misunderstanding

I feel my love bleeding out. Being sucked out. Being ground into pieces as tiny as dust. A fan lays under and blows them all away, never to be found again. Maybe its just me. Maybe my existence is wrong. Maybe I'm just a bad person. I love like no other and yet I am just to have my love drained once again. Maybe its poison. Maybe all I'm doing is killing my loved ones. Maybe I just don't deserve love. Maybe I'm an abomination doomed to walk this world lonely until I fall over and die. Life is a misunderstanding to me. I don't know why we live it just to die 100 years IF that later. Maybe I should just let the life be sucked out of me as I go from one crushed feeling to the other. Maybe I shouldn't wait and just do it myself. It seems not to matter. I've always just been someone who's there. Someone to talk to when no one else is around. I cannot comprehend living with this any more. Its the beginning of the end. All I see is darkness now. I've lost my spec of light.