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Lola Martone Poem
In an endless loop of arguments
A game that neither of us ever win
A house built on a sandy foundation
Loose lies must come out in the end.
Knuckles and bloody knuckles
Tears in muddy puddles
Smiling to our friends and showing each other our teeth
I am sick of the battles.
The war the we won’t ever win
Land that we still have to conquer
But to conquer you must kill
It seems easy enough.
Just stay off of each others land.
Turn your noses to the secrets,
And keep the peace
Well peace is a trojan horse
A horse made of wood.
Well wood is flammable.
And the truth will spell out in the smoke.
It is never that easy to just pretend that nothing is wrong.
Guilt is a dangerous game
And you will never let me in
Deflecting our points
Pretending to kill
An endless battle in the war that neither of us will win.
A wheel with a broken pedal.
We know where to go but won’t
Because all that is left for us,
Is to wave and let the white flag win
Maybe escape is all that is left.
The only chance that either of us can survive.
Your favorite escape.
To hide from the inevitable win.
When the reaper knocks on our door,
We know what we have to do.
Bid our goodbyes,
And hope to see each other in the afterlife.
I try to say goodbye but your silence is deafening.
It carves into my mind.
Blood seeps into my brain.
I am out.
Copyright © Lola Martone | Year Posted 2025
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Lola Martone Poem
Down on my knees seems like the only place that you want me to be-
because when I get up close, you can't seem to breathe-
up in your face, your voice laced with distaste-
luck a bug under your shoe-
or a tie in your lace-
When I open my mouth you distract it-
keep me focused on only what you like-
if I wonder to close
I might lose my head.
Cheater in my bed
I am losing my-
keep me on the ground
but the clouds seem so nice-
tell me it's not true
not him. not you.
give me a reason to stay
or I have to go,
Don't expect me to stay if you want me on my knees.
I need you to be able to breathe,
To let the lies flow out like the tears on my cheeks
I can’t stand the sound of distaste,
The sound of you begging me to stay.
Squash those doubts that you know very well are justified.
Unravel every part of me that still trusts you.
Shut my mouth, but this time you use tape.
Close my eyes, then make me blind.
My neck in a guillotine
Oblivious, just the way you like me.
Face on gravel
Now I know what you have done.
Soul in the clouds,
No way back down.
No way back-
No way out.
Tell me it’s not true.
Tell me that's not my body 3 feet away.
Tell me that it wasn’t you.
My ignorance, it was bliss but now I can’t feel below my neck.
Wait-
Not my neck-
Copyright © Lola Martone | Year Posted 2025
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Lola Martone Poem
Blue, the color of the ocean, mirrors the tears that streamed down my face when you said goodbye. It's the hue of the lies I told,
the hidden pain that the world never saw,
the ache in my heart when you expressed hatred—a sentiment I feared was true.
Two years have passed,
yet I'm trapped in a cycle of remembrance and regret,
unable to escape the shadow of our past.
The details of our shared life—your number, your address,
the places we cried—are etched in my memory.
We could have avoided this heartache with the truth,
but I was too immature to realize what we could have been.
Your face haunts my dreams,
your voice still echoes, and I'm left questioning why we lied,
why I claimed to hate you.
I gave you love,
but it wasn't reciprocated, and that's fine.
Yet, I'm burdened with the question:
why didn't I just tell the truth?
I penned a final letter,
a farewell, believing it would be the end.
But I can't call you, even though I remember your number,
because you've moved on.
It seems I'm alone in this lingering pain,
seeking closure I'll never find.
So, I'll try to move on,
to pretend,
to forget this poem
I never wrote.
People may think me mad for clinging to this juvenile love,
but despite the hatred that now mingles with my affection,
I can't help it—I still love you.
Copyright © Lola Martone | Year Posted 2025
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Lola Martone Poem
you make me crazy.
you make me look at my phone 18 times in 5 minutes to see if you responded to my 263 tiktoks I sent
Those same videos convey a secret message
One that I pray that you can not decipher
you make me crazy in the sense that you make me throw my phone when you take 10 minutes to respond to my flirtation attempt.
Flirting isn’t really something I do but you make me want to give it a shot
How is it you that made me someone that I can't even recognize
Not even a year ago, I was saying “once a cheater, always a cheater”
Now I am calling you misunderstood.
Why did I think that I would be different?
different than all of those much prettier girls,
Girls who always know what to say
Why did I think that you would like me
When you wouldn’t make it official.
you say you don't like labels, and then you call me yours.
You make me crazy.
My head isn’t even speaking in logic anymore
He is just a guy!
Why do I let him make me cry?
You just won’t put your money where your mouth is
Copyright © Lola Martone | Year Posted 2025
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Lola Martone Poem
6 months is a long time.
A long time to be "just friends" with a hint of something else.
Talking to you makes the overthinking quiet
My usually constantly moving brain stills
And for once I can’t think of what to say
But when you're gone i go back
Pick apart every word and phrase
Trying to figure out what I could say to make you stay
try to tell if you meant those sweet little nothings.
Prove to me that you did.
Prove you didn't lie.
Please.
Please
please-
pleas-
I plead.
I plead with you to end this wretched game.
I plead with you to tell me.
Tell me if all of these months have been for nothing
I am begging.
But then my knees start to bleed.
I don’t know how much longer I can kneel
waiting
Bruised with my perilous plead,
I am sick. I am sick of playing pretend.
I am sick of saying that "everything is fine"
I jump rope in between the lines.
The line between fine and lie.
Your feelings are what you call undefined
every changing. forever unrefined.
please.
6 months is a long time to lie.
a long time to repeat the same measly words
Those phrases that everyone in our generation says to avoid saying what we really mean
“What are you doing?” really means “I miss you”
“How are you?” really means that I don’t know who I am without you
over and over.
I need the truth.
actual answers.
Not the avoidant ominous lines that you have probably told 30 other people looking for something more that just friends with a little hint of something else.
I am begging.
The harsh ground digs into my palms as I lean over my thighs.
head to the floor as my tears soak the space underneath them.
Copyright © Lola Martone | Year Posted 2025
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Lola Martone Poem
You're gone. truly, fully, seriously, and utterly gone.
Over time, I got used to your presence.
like a parasite that you don't want to be rid of.
I gave you a chance to make it right, but it wasn't all there as it was before.
Sorry doesn't fix a broken bottle, and it cannot put my heart back in my chest.
I thought that I would miss you more than I do, and at first, I did.
I soon realized that I did not miss you. I missed the thought of you that I created in my head.
Unfortunately, no matter how much you cry and you beg the gods to give mercy to your soul, what starts must end, and all good things stop sooner.
No god nor mortal can prevent death, not the literal death of a person or creature, or the metaphorical one that happens to all of us when someone leaves.
When all else fails, you cannot expect everyone to stay. Not your boyfriend, who you said that you loved mere weeks after meeting, not your closest of friends, not your dog. everyone leaves eventually, whether it is in or out of their control. you both can't attend each others' funerals, and when all else fails, you'll end up alone.
Copyright © Lola Martone | Year Posted 2025
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Lola Martone Poem
I want...
Well-
It's just-
like...
Oh, give me some decency.
Don't tell me to tell you what I want when you won't even tell me how you feel.
Don't expect me to do all of the lifting, it is both of our responsibilities.
Don't let this fall on me, to tell you what I think when you won't even tell me what you did.
Don't tell me to tell you what to do when you won't show me who you are.
Because-
Because when all else fails, I can't know what I want without knowing how you feel.
I can't know what I think without knowing what you did.
And I can't know what the hell I am supposed to do because I don't even know who you are.
So do not put the blame on me, for begging for answers and in my confusion- assuming the worst.
Don't give me the responsibility of picking up the mess that WE made.
Give me some decency
so I can spare what's left of my dignity.
Give me a chance at a relationship built on honesty,
Don’t cosplay as an honest man when you won’t be honest to me.
Please.
Spare my dignity. Give me some decency.
Don't tell me to tell you what I want.
Don't tell me to tell you what I think.
Don’t tell me to tell you what to do.
I don't know what you feel, I don't know what I want.
I don’t know what I think, I don’t know what you did.
I don’t know what we are meant to do because I don't even know who you are.
My name is no professor x, I can’t read minds and I can’t read hearts.
Please.
If you won’t tell me what you feel, If you won’t tell me what you did, and if you won’t even show me what kind of person you are, don’t expect me to know.
Spare me the blood,
Spare me the sweat.
I won’t waste another night begging
I am done.
I am taking what is left of my dignity and I will be on my way.
Because you’re not good for me.
These guessing games are not good for me.
The burden of having to read your mind and then tell you mine has become too much to bear.
So I am gone.
You have driven me away.
And now maybe you will take away some of that responsibility.
Because it is not my burden that you drove me away.
It is not my problem that I gave you every chance and you refused to take it.
Instead, you took the cowards way. You lied, you hid, and when the inevitably hit the fan, you tried to run- and then you expected me to stay.
It is too late now.
I don’t want to know that you miss me.
I don’t want you to tell me why you did what you did.
And I don’t want your excuses telling me you are just misunderstood.
I took my dignity, and now I am gone.
Copyright © Lola Martone | Year Posted 2025
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Lola Martone Poem
I don't like anyone, especially you.
Some are still up in the clouds, next to you.
My eyes avert you, down on my knees
Drink till I ache, ditsy-stole
knock on the red door
I don't even like you,
against the wall
I kiss you until our lips are bruised
No-"take a shot"
"Just one more"
Isn't that what you came here for?
I see a face in the window
Stranger in the mirror
it is just a cig
drunk dance on the roof-
with you.
I thought I didn't like you
you're on my
your body sinks around mine:
places it doesn't belong.
I wish I didn't like it.
I wish it wasn't you.
Copyright © Lola Martone | Year Posted 2025
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Lola Martone Poem
Was it casual?
Our long night talks and endless flirtations.
Those talks about our futures-as if we had a clue
Things we knew that we had to do
Watching movies on a call, but wouldn't do it without you
Was it serious?
Was it serious to you?
We would talk about everything and nothing at all
My darling little boy
Cosplaying a man
Telling me to be honest about my feelings but it was just
a helpless match.
No one made me angry like you
The frustration of being the only one who seemed to give a
Turned out you had someone else on your mind.
Someone who I shared eyes and genes
I don't think you feel the same.
Tell me that I am wrong
Tell me that I am mistaken
Give me a reason to believe you
Give me a reason not to leave you.
Tell me that you listened to me
Tell me that you respected he who I held dear
Tell me that you wouldn't lie to me
Tell me that you wouldn’t leave me here
Tell me that I didn’t defend you for nothing
Tell me that my friends weren’t right
Tell me it wasn’t casual
Or I have to leave tonight.
Copyright © Lola Martone | Year Posted 2025
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Lola Martone Poem
“Blood of the covenant is thicker than water of the womb”
something that I will tell my future daughter
family is good
but friends choose you
your family has to stick around
your friends choose to
when everything goes to hell,
your friends are the ones who cope with losing you
when all else fails,
your friends are the ones who stood by you
your family might be one in the same blood
but your friends know your stories,
your friends know your soul,
they are the ones who will never go.
Copyright © Lola Martone | Year Posted 2025
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