can't act

the first crush after a breakup is hard. I keep seeing images of you in him and I'm scared my past is repeating. I probably won't act on it. It is nice to be out of my pit though. my pit of loneliness, because now I have a reason to wake up. I have a reason to put on something nice and do my makeup. I have a reason to talk to people instead of hiding away. I have a reason to go outside. I don't have to lie about being over you. I don't have to lie about being okay. I am scared it will happen all over again though. I am scared he is like you. the man who broke me. the man who left me on the curb colored blue. the man who scared me and made me believe that I am unlovable. so I won't act on it. I won't tell him about the butterflies or the fact that he is always on my mind. I won't tell him that I can tell he is struggling. I won't tell him that I have been watching and waiting, hoping for the chance to talk to him without being annoying. I won't act on it.