Details |
Matt Karpe Poem
In these times of darkness, I am struggling to find a light
Everything I once had, dissolved before me through the night.
Words seem so trivial, when in this moment I want to speak,
But would you listen anyway if my thoughts were yours to keep?
Never did I think that you would react the way you did,
Never did I think that I was worthless in your eyes,
Never did I think you could give up on me like this,
Never did I think you were so cold and unfeeling.
I poured out my heart in the only way I could,
But instead of embracing me you siphoned my blood.
Driving a knife through my chest, I’ve never felt such pain,
Now cut out from your life, here I am alone again.
Punishing me for telling the truth,
Punishing me for loving you,
Punishing me for what I cannot control,
Punishing me- I thought you would never do.
You are breaking my heart, I feel at a loss,
Not having you in my life, I feel so empty.
Heartless and horrific, there’s nothing left to say,
So now I’ll let you go, but maybe I’ll love you another day...
Copyright © Matt Karpe | Year Posted 2010
|
Details |
Matt Karpe Poem
Half opened eyes are forced shut from the glare of the sun,
(Just build up your strength and try again).
On first reckoning something feels different, something is missing,
It's just hard to pin point something you cannot see.
I stumble around trying to find what evidently is just not here,
In a sleepwalking haze, my mind is playing tricks on me-
I should have stayed in bed and watched you sleeping.
It's when you return to the beginning, you realise what's gone,
And when it strikes you, you cannot come back from this.
I fall to my knees in a state of shock- I cry-
It hits you with a knockout blow; you're down for more than a ten count.
When you manage to get up, your world is spinning,
All this distortion from one simple realisation-
You are not here.
I feel like I’m lost in a world where I don't belong,
Everyone and everything is bigger than I will ever be.
Maybe I don't care for myself, but I care a lot about you,
And when everything is weighed up- you've got your answer.
It's me and you or nothing- it's as simple as that,
But I see you have made your decision loud and clear-
You have a vision for your life, and I am not in it.
You didn't even leave a goodbye note,
Although I don't think my mind could construct letters into words right now.
I'd like to know why you left so suddenly,
Because right now, my life is not so painless.
Pardon me for my lack of conviction,
Right now my will to live isn't quite strong enough.
I think I’ll stay here and bury my head in the sand-
(I'm suffocating in this air anyway).
Maybe I should have seen this coming,
But my happiness seemed to erase all of my pessimism.
It's tragic when you think about it-
One minute you've got it all, the next minute it's gone,
So why do I blame myself, what did I do that was so wrong?
I guess you never owned up to all of your insecurities-
So why should this time be any different?
I hope you find someone to dry your tears,
Someone half as good as I ever was...
Copyright © Matt Karpe | Year Posted 2010
|
Details |
Matt Karpe Poem
Everywhere I go, it’s your face they always show,
Like a constant reminder of what I’ll never have again.
Everywhere I look, I see my heart that you once took,
Tossed to the floor and left to soak in the rain.
Why do I put myself through this?
Do I like this pain that consumes my soul?
Is this all that I will ever be,
I hope to god one day I’ll know.
And then she lives, forgetting what she put me through,
Day after day- always something new,
She never cared, she never dared,
To tell me the truth would have been a problem shared,
And now I am left with emptiness.
Rolling around in the dirt I belong in,
Dirty and ashamed has never felt so appealing.
I should hate you, yet I can’t help but do the opposite,
And instead I am left hating myself, blaming myself.
You could never know how much you hurt me,
And in a sick way I hope you find out what it feels like one day...
Copyright © Matt Karpe | Year Posted 2010
|
Details |
Matt Karpe Poem
Superhuman but slightly broken-
Her life had been nothing short of painful.
The evidence was there for all to see,
When she rolled up her sleeves.
Imprinted on her mind was the power of her past,
Something she would never be able to escape.
When you see the light at the end of the tunnel
You think you've made it and you are free,
Then you take a look at your wrists-
Where the scars are there to haunt you.
The past can make you stronger
And the future can bring the day,
Where everything will finally fall into place
And you won't have to run away...
Copyright © Matt Karpe | Year Posted 2010
|
Details |
Matt Karpe Poem
Inside this skin lies a heart full of hatred,
Hatred that will never go away for as long as I live.
This outlook on life has never been filled with hope,
It's all I can do to get out of bed every morning.
This is not how I wanted to live my life,
But because of you there is no other choice.
What at first seemed malicious, turned into something more believable,
And now my heart is shattered into tiny pieces of regret.
Do you know what it feels like to be me?
To feel so low and have this lack of passion-
That every time I feel remotely happy;
I am reminded of how worthless I am.
Is this life, or just a form of immortal torture?
Something that will tear me down gradually, and then kill off my spirit.
They tell me I am ugly, and the repetition mounts-
Until you see it in my eyes- that I have no strength to fight you anymore.
The job is done, so you walk away;
And leave me to fend for myself, in such an empty world.
It's hard to live when the life has been stolen from my veins;
I will never believe you, but could you tell me I am beautiful?
...
Then I met you, and how to God I wish I would awaken,
But nothing you say can bring me salvation.
It kills you to see me this way- you fail to understand how I feel,
I'm sorry that it's hurting you, but I have resigned myself to this.
I am ugly, I am worthless, I am no good for you- I am useless,
Why don't you give up on me, like everyone else has- like I did years ago?
You keep telling me I am beautiful, and it hurts me even more,
I wish so much I didn't feel this way, but my skin still feels so sore.
One day you might change my mind, but I cannot guarantee,
So for now I push you away, you are just too good for me...
Copyright © Matt Karpe | Year Posted 2010
|
Details |
Matt Karpe Poem
I started off running from my fears,
Hoping they would stay in the past and reclusive;
But the biggest fear of all is staring me straight in the face-
And her eyes melt me down to nothing.
That feeling in my stomach- the one that makes you weak but no less wiser,
It's all I have left to hold on to.
The colour that surrounds her is quite simply mystifying-
An ingenious indigo that beautifies such a fatal afterglow.
Time stands still as she walks on by-
The silence is so much that you can hear her heart beating consistently.
There are no words, there are no actions,
Between me and her, there are only fractions-
But it's enough to feel her slipping away from me,
It's enough to feel alone again...
Copyright © Matt Karpe | Year Posted 2010
|