Just Keep Telling Me I Am Beautiful
Inside this skin lies a heart full of hatred,
Hatred that will never go away for as long as I live.
This outlook on life has never been filled with hope,
It's all I can do to get out of bed every morning.
This is not how I wanted to live my life,
But because of you there is no other choice.
What at first seemed malicious, turned into something more believable,
And now my heart is shattered into tiny pieces of regret.
Do you know what it feels like to be me?
To feel so low and have this lack of passion-
That every time I feel remotely happy;
I am reminded of how worthless I am.
Is this life, or just a form of immortal torture?
Something that will tear me down gradually, and then kill off my spirit.
They tell me I am ugly, and the repetition mounts-
Until you see it in my eyes- that I have no strength to fight you anymore.
The job is done, so you walk away;
And leave me to fend for myself, in such an empty world.
It's hard to live when the life has been stolen from my veins;
I will never believe you, but could you tell me I am beautiful?
...
Then I met you, and how to God I wish I would awaken,
But nothing you say can bring me salvation.
It kills you to see me this way- you fail to understand how I feel,
I'm sorry that it's hurting you, but I have resigned myself to this.
I am ugly, I am worthless, I am no good for you- I am useless,
Why don't you give up on me, like everyone else has- like I did years ago?
You keep telling me I am beautiful, and it hurts me even more,
I wish so much I didn't feel this way, but my skin still feels so sore.
One day you might change my mind, but I cannot guarantee,
So for now I push you away, you are just too good for me...
Copyright © Matt Karpe | Year Posted 2010
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