Watch You Sleeping

Half opened eyes are forced shut from the glare of the sun, (Just build up your strength and try again). On first reckoning something feels different, something is missing, It's just hard to pin point something you cannot see. I stumble around trying to find what evidently is just not here, In a sleepwalking haze, my mind is playing tricks on me- I should have stayed in bed and watched you sleeping. It's when you return to the beginning, you realise what's gone, And when it strikes you, you cannot come back from this. I fall to my knees in a state of shock- I cry- It hits you with a knockout blow; you're down for more than a ten count. When you manage to get up, your world is spinning, All this distortion from one simple realisation- You are not here. I feel like I’m lost in a world where I don't belong, Everyone and everything is bigger than I will ever be. Maybe I don't care for myself, but I care a lot about you, And when everything is weighed up- you've got your answer. It's me and you or nothing- it's as simple as that, But I see you have made your decision loud and clear- You have a vision for your life, and I am not in it. You didn't even leave a goodbye note, Although I don't think my mind could construct letters into words right now. I'd like to know why you left so suddenly, Because right now, my life is not so painless. Pardon me for my lack of conviction, Right now my will to live isn't quite strong enough. I think I’ll stay here and bury my head in the sand- (I'm suffocating in this air anyway). Maybe I should have seen this coming, But my happiness seemed to erase all of my pessimism. It's tragic when you think about it- One minute you've got it all, the next minute it's gone, So why do I blame myself, what did I do that was so wrong? I guess you never owned up to all of your insecurities- So why should this time be any different? I hope you find someone to dry your tears, Someone half as good as I ever was...