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Carrie Farrar Poem
Love has gone and left me
Yet the day continues on
I wake to ruminations
Plaguing me from dusk till dawn.
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My feet now hit the carpet
As I gather up my wits
Rub my eyes and stretch my limbs
And persevere if time permits.
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I fill my day with chaos
To relieve me of my thoughts
Seek out others in a quest
To rid my stomach of its knots.
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Put my sadness on a shelf
As I quietly reflect
On the battle waged between
My narcissistic intellect.
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And the narrative I tell
As I try to disengage
From the darker musings haunting me
While stuck inside my cage.
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Brush my hair and then my teeth
As the tears spill down my face
Grab my breakfast and my keys
Try to permit myself some grace.
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And though I grasp onto this fear
In a haze of secrecy
Swap my angst for bad behavior
In a frantic reverie.
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Of choices made in gaping
Crevices of mania and such
Preying on those who I love
And depend upon so much.
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Head to work with the amygdala
I lovingly unfold
In a dance of fierce restraint
Of big emotions I withold.
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From those I deem as lacking
A mild and healing sympathy
Abandon tact to pathologize
My fears ignorantly.
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Without regard for how sincere
Of all the efforts I procure
In my divergence from the norms
Of Autism that I endure.
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So I rant among the stanzas
Holding me in their embrace
Go about my day contending with
The tortuous rat race.
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Curb my stims so I resemble
Those society approves
Fit into their puzzle pieces
With behaviors that I choose.
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And these behaviors, I admit
Fail to properly address
Ruminations I acquire
And the feelings I express.
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But I will ensure I fight
So that my fears will dissipate
Use my tools to manage symptoms
That I constantly create.
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So that love will once again emerge
Within the jaded crowd
Be who I am and know
That I can share my thoughts out loud.
Copyright © Carrie Farrar | Year Posted 2024
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Carrie Farrar Poem
Ursula, oh Ursula
As constellations go
Ursa Major in the sky
Forever do you glow.
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Onto a world you gaze upon
Your perch upon a star
Lovingly you're watching me
A dear friend from afar.
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Ursula, dear Ursula
The heavens cry out, too
For nothing in the sky
Is quite as beautiful as you.
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Where quasars leap into a sea
Of nebulizing gas
And galaxies remain unformed
Waiting for you to pass.
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Ursula, my Ursula
As gentle as the air
Loves the world
Despite the apathy residing there.
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Amidst those so consumed
By what they need, I must implore
Including me, a simple girl
Who writes this metaphor.
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Incandescent Ursula
Your wisdom makes you shine
An intellect so christened
By a touch of the divine.
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Your elegance provides a calm
That I have come to love
But I am here, and you are there
Observing from above.
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You're beautiful, dear Ursula
You're everything that's good
The sun and moon cannot compete
And I don't think they should.
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With ravaged brilliance, there you reign
Upon your diamond throne
Drifting like a regal mist
To galaxies unknown.
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In spite of this, my Ursula's
A loving, caring soul
Her name is so magnific
Each exalted syllable.
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Suspended in the evening sky
Majestically you stand
A citadel of radiance
Celestial and grand.
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With photons loosed from slits like jets
That bray with primal haste
Resounding in the blue-black sky
Ethereal and chaste.
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I search for you, dear Ursula
Among the midnight stars
Although Orion calls for me
I know it is not ours.
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But you're elusive, Ursula
Parrhassian and just
Callisto in the sky
But with Hera's deep mistrust.
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And although Zeus loved you far more
Than Hera, I can see
He put you in the sky
To assist those lost at sea.
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And though I want you for myself
I know it isn't fair
To hold you hostage anymore
To keep you in a snare.
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Alas, my friend, the story goes
To you, my love I send
You mean so very much to me
Love, your forever friend.
Copyright © Carrie Farrar | Year Posted 2024
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Details |
Carrie Farrar Poem
Some say your words act as a balm
A fleet of sweet tidings
Sailing into a gray dawn.
With white sails riding
On the heels of a grand mast
That sways without invoking
A need for true ballast.
It seems as though your rage
That spars with mine among the waves
Has now chosen to disengage
From me among the graves...
Of sailors lost at sea
Displaced by blithely prying winds
And now what will become of me?
Whose multitude of sins
Imply that my veracity
Contends with your tenacity.
Copyright © Carrie Farrar | Year Posted 2024
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Details |
Carrie Farrar Poem
Some say your words act as a balm
A fleet of sweet tidings
Sailing into a gray dawn.
With white sails riding
On the heels of a grand mast
That sways without invoking
A need for true ballast.
It seems as though your rage
That spars with mine among the waves
Has now chosen to disengage
From me among the graves...
Of sailors lost at sea
Displaced by blithely prying winds
And now what will become of me?
Whose multitude of sins
Imply that my veracity
Contends with your tenacity.
Copyright © Carrie Farrar | Year Posted 2024
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