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Best Poems Written by Maurice Rigoler

Below are the all-time best Maurice Rigoler poems as chosen by PoetrySoup members

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The Family Line



Nerds, misfits, and flakes
my family line progenerates.
I’m the only one I hear
not odd, bizarre or weird.
Family members, naturally,
view me with suspicion,
they fear my normality
has ended a proud tradition.

Details | Maurice Rigoler Poem

The Cynic on History


History is replete
with examples of the incomplete.
Which is why we have historians –
or should they be called restorians?

Theirs is the patient art
of piecing history back together,
what men and time put apart,
with results not much better.

Details | Maurice Rigoler Poem

Well Meaning Editor



Don’t despair, his editor would say,
fame will come and soon one day.
So don’t give up; patience enhances.
Keep writing, your time is near.
And, by-the-way, to this give ear:
Suicide will only kill your chances
not to mention your career.

Details | Maurice Rigoler Poem

The Power of Raw Vegetables


Recently my nutritionist – a health
freak if ever there was one – suggested
I eat raw vegetables like cabbage, kale, 
asparagus, brussel sprouts, cauliflower 
and broccoli, all of the cruciferous family,
all packed with vital antioxidants, 
vitamins, minerals, phytochemicals
and fibre, (relieving weekly straining
bouts of constipation.) As for results 
he assured me with an assured smile
I’d be stronger and feel years younger,
though vouched cautiously I could expect 
a few typical but minor side-effects, 
but easily adjusted to, notably when 
spring sets in and my ears grow like spires
and to everyone’s amazement I start
hopping about, my libido supercharged 
after years of living celibate! – And as 
he sees me out with an aside and wink
he says: You'd do well to forewarn the wife.

Details | Maurice Rigoler Poem

Congratulations Due


Do you regret not being been born as a prodigy
but are content just being dull and ordinary?
If the latter, you are one among millions
who have as yet not asked these questions.

Details | Maurice Rigoler Poem

Trendy Trousers


Here’s a true-life anecdote
you’ve probably been forced to note
that certain guys of youthful years 
prefer their trousers halfway on their rears,
and to ensure they get an eye-full stare
expose their crack sans underwear!

Details | Maurice Rigoler Poem

Why I Don't Write Sonnets



To begin with, I underestimated
the undertaking.  A sonnet may look
easy, but in fact it’s complicated –
if written strictly by the book.

Fourteen lines of rhymed iambics composed
of three four-line stanzas with a couplet
tacked at the end, on my skill imposed
more work than I cared to give a sonnet.

Well, never one to labor needlessly,
I thought I’d start with seven lines, you see –
to ease the stress. It then came to me,
why not limit seven lines to only three?

Yet, for a first try, three lines seemed a lot,
better faster and easier with only two, 
which is exactly what I proceeded to do.
But even as I was determined to start,

a single line seemed a better strategy.
Sound reasoning that, and expedient, too;
and if expedient is what I wanted to be,
half a line was a dream come true!

I then took a break to have a drink –
to rest my brain and give it space to think.
Beer seemed weak; I needed something stronger,
whose effect was quicker and lasted longer.

Well, it worked, though the alcohol’s effect
didn’t help a bit, regretting my ambition
did not conform to the book’s definition
so I deleted the entire @!##$ project!

Details | Maurice Rigoler Poem

An Open Book


Her pregnancy was like an open book
quite readable with just a cursory look.
She wore a gown that trailed in white
and grinned a guiltless smile as bright.
And why not, white was only a tradition,
her virginity a sold out first edition.

Details | Maurice Rigoler Poem

Buzzhead



A man there was who said
there’s a buzzing in my head.
“Impossible,” said his wife,
“that’s been the mantra of your life.
Besides, I’ve told you ad infinitum,
sound doesn’t travel in a vacuum.”

Details | Maurice Rigoler Poem

Her First Mammogram


When told she’d have to remove
her blouse and bra, she hesitated.
“I’m not comfortable exposing
my breasts without clothing,
my husband would not approve.
Besides, she said somewhat irritated,
don’t x-rays see through clothing?”  
Yes, they do, said the male attendant –
it’s my eyes that can’t.