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Best Poems Written by Beck Mensoff

Below are the all-time best Beck Mensoff poems as chosen by PoetrySoup members

Details | Beck Mensoff Poem

The Rats

there are rats digging into my skin
you couldn't imagine the pain that im in
claws so sharp, it won't take long
moaning, marbled, mournful song
they're in my eyes and in my ears
they've reached my stomach, all my fears
come flowing out, a rush of blood
and from my mouth, there comes a flood
of words I never couldn't say
of children that could never play 
hooks pull apart this suit of pain
release the mess inside my brain
the anger that I never showed
the happiness I never owned
the secrets that were locked inside
the truth I always seemed to hide
the rats they're knawing at my core
like the grief and guilt you saw before
the memories left inside my mind
never could I leave behind
the notes I left inside my heart
in case we ever had to part
so when they rip me to the bone 
I left a message at the tone
from the start I must begin 
for there are rats digging into my skin

Details | Beck Mensoff Poem

Dysphoria

i can never be myself
skin stretching around fat around tissue around blood around bones
pushing through, spreading out, im aching
but never breaking through 
i never wanted any attention 
never wanted to be visible at all
i can never be myself 
sturdy muscle collapsing in on itself
what good is a functioning body that isn’t mine
i’m sorry that i’m not grateful, i know
but imagine wearing a suit of skin that isn’t yours
feeling the slime, the guts, the flesh 
suffocating, pulsing
looking into the faces of those you love 
screaming and screaming but never being recognized, they can’t see 
i can’t see my face in the mirror
i can never be myself because myself does not exist


humming pulse gripping small wrists 
skin weeping in crimson tears and mauve permanence 
hands lunge through a prison of flesh and bone 
scratching and scratching and scratching 
ripping through foreign guts 
collecting foggy identity through each incision 
desperate to carve any semblance of comfort
of visibility
of recognition 
a bloody noose tightens around my throat 
as the world fades, i look into the mirror, estranged eyes meet my gaze
i never belonged here anyway 


fingers locked in mine, back to heavy chest
visibility in an intimacy that transcends imagery 
coordination of flesh to expression, ability to hold 
weight properly contained, self-enclosed sanity
the capacity to absorb affection and return it in my own integrity
unity in identity; consciousness to body, feet planted below
the relief of shared sustenance and linked touch
possibility in visions held in warm palms 
raw energy between us, liberated beyond illusions
veracity in being, unsaid yet accepted without exception
what is the point of desire through foreign skin?

Details | Beck Mensoff Poem

My Place in the Family of Things

Blues and whites intertwine in a colorful harmony
Branches of trees lined with paper thin greens, yellows, reds, and browns
All in different stages of life
They will all fall to the ground eventually
Gently, peacefully
Leaves drop to the ground, back and forth as if they’re waving a last goodbye to the earth
Spirals and wavelengths, reflecting bursts of light
They speak to me in whispers
Please, see my energy, observe me, join me
Greet me and I will greet you
Hear me, touch me, guide me, and I will guide you
The wind reaches its frosty fingertips forward, gripping at my skin
Sturdy ground beneath my heels, supporting me from below
I can wiggle my toes and greet the soil
All around there is energy, the universe is affirming
My place in the family of things
Is right here
I’m right where I’m supposed to be

Details | Beck Mensoff Poem

Fractures

10/9/2023

i know i am capable of loving 
i can feel it when i’m in love
whether it’s with the warmth of a hand in mine, a colorful leaf falling from a tree, a connection transcending through the windows of our irises, the feeling of being held, contained, anchored
the way we finally collapse into a synchronous dance 
and fade into foggy energy, colliding and mixing
but how am i supposed to know when and what kind of love it is?
and how am i supposed to know whether it’s real?

can i trust you? (following text should be upside down) can i trust me?

there’s a lot of internal, machinery dissertation 
wanting to follow fragments of heat, yet stay hidden 
it’s so fleeting

i find myself in other people
it’s like looking in the mirror but the mirror keeps cracking 
or maybe my vision is just a bit blurry
like a picasso painting
limbs torn off and stitched back on in mismatched placements
gears turn inside my chest, mechanical parts move desperately, monotone 
and all i want to do is reach through that reflection and touch my hand on the other side
instead i just keep banging my fist against the looking glass
an endless maze of lost reflections, pained stares
and my fingers don’t feel like they’re attached to my body
only numbness when the skin tears
i only vaguely notice the blood dripping from destroyed knuckles
shattered shards of statued appearance 

a voice echos in the lull of a warm pulse

is it possible to reach you
(following text should be upside down) if my feet never truly touched the ground?

Details | Beck Mensoff Poem

Sewn

expel, release
expel, release
organs filling up with grease
release, expel
release, expel
drowning, swimming, feelings dwell

theres a dark cave where spirits hide
secret thoughts exist inside
misty, noxious, humid slime
in the cave inside my mind

lost my footing crawling through
just wanted to get to you
bursting sores across my skin
hide my neck and mask my chin

my lips are sewn together with the thread of my sins
please let go of your scissors, don’t open me

death warms me up while life freezes my fingers
carry me away from this suit of pain 
i’m locked inside but no sense lingers
the sludge is muffled, squeeze my brain

Details | Beck Mensoff Poem

To Breathe Again

sometimes I feel like I've forgotten how to breathe. like the air cycling through my body suddenly stands still. a dark fog protrudes from beneath the surface of my soul, slowly extending its tendrils to spread its influence to each crevice of my body. it seeks entry in a point of weakness, taking hold and not letting go. it starts at my chest, slithering through my heart and then moving down towards my stomach, weaving its sludge between my intestines. then it goes towards my lungs, wrapping around them and squeezing; the air capacity stands still but it feels like its sinking. the void continues, swallowing my control in its path. it wraps its arms around my throat while penetrating my esophagus, wriggling into my brain. the pain is indescribable, but no one sees it. this foggy, slimy, black hole consuming me from the inside. my thoughts become jumbled, a panicked tv static holding words that I cant make out. I scream out in agony, terrified and confused. I cant understand anything. im being suffocated and invaded as the void consumes each part of my mind, my safe place, one by one. I know no words, no future, no life, just pain.

sometimes I feel like the ability to breathe has been stolen from me, like death is the only way to regain control of any aspect of myself. the only way to stop the pain. 

sometimes I just need to remember how to breathe again.

i open my chest and remind myself to breathe again
to breathe when there is no air
to breathe when i feel i am no longer able
i turn my pain to strength and push it through my lungs
i breathe so hard i kill myself
to breathe again

Details | Beck Mensoff Poem

Thank You To the Ones Who Carried Me Here

thank you to the ones who carried me here
the ones that became my parents when my parents couldn’t hear me
the ones who took in that little girl and saved her 
the ones who became her friends when the ones she had made her feel like who she was was wrong
the ones who defended this body and kept us safe
the ones who protected us and took care of the hard things
the ones who led us to a future and gave us time to realize that we could have one

thank you to the ones who held me and thank you to the ones that let me hold them
thank you to the ones that let me in
and thank you to the ones that pushed me away

thank you to the ones that forgot and thank you to the ones that made me remember
thank you to the ones that helped me forget when it felt like my every cell was splitting and like my brain was oozing out of my ears
when my heart was pounding so fast and so loud that i thought it would break
when part of me wished that it would 

thank you to the skin that i destroyed
thank you for repairing what i broke even when there was barely enough strength to keep our lungs pumping 
thank you to the stomach that did its best to keep down food and water
thank you to the nerves that signaled when something was seriously wrong and we needed help
thank you to the legs that kept walking 
to the arms that kept lifting
to the hair that kept growing
to the mouth that kept talking 
to the ears that kept listening 
to the brain that kept thinking
to the heart that kept loving 

thank you for not letting us go
even when it felt like the world did

thank you to the ones who carried me here
and thank you to the ones that showed me a reason to stay