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Cemre Ozay Poem
My amorphous feelings clamber up the walls as I take a last look,
then turning my head against my so-called “home” in the society
whilst dreaming of the future I’ve been looking forward to since I was conscious
I galvanize myself with the thought of feeling free
as I venerate the ones that gave me birth but never their full love.
The ones that were never audacious enough to tell their part of biology
that they were proud of her, at least.
The ones that always kept their genuine and harsh emotions inside,
and never vociferous on the outside. Never once.
Leaving now, condoning their little to no respect, inexorable judgments,
being at peace with their non-parental behaviors
it stops my soul from being eaten by the anxiety itself.
Being grateful for everything, forcing myself to believe that
everything was ‘meant to be’ all along.
Now I’ll feel lighter and evolve into a bird in the shortest time possible,
I’ll tell myself that the storm has passed,
and now it’s time for me to sunbathe in the sun while watching the rainbow come out
in the brightest sky, and forgetting every scar when I close my eyes.
“The stronger I close my eyes, the more powerful I will feel,” I think to myself,
“Everything will disappear as I close my eyes, the worst days are gone”
I think to my inner self that’s been a kid waiting silently for this moment.
August 27th 2023.
Copyright © Cemre Ozay | Year Posted 2023
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Cemre Ozay Poem
To Escape
I want to escape,
I want to escape so much that I forget who I am anymore.
I want to run through fields full of sunflowers
I want to belong in a dream, forever.
I want to ignore the reality, the stress, the anxiety everything causes
School, society, rules, family, people.
I want to escape.
I want to feel free, happy, meant to be in this world to explore, to live
Why else would humans be here
Why else would we brought and left here?
I want to escape
I want not to think, or care about anything we created
Lawns, money, college, classes
I want to escape from the education we’re taught by humans
I want to be educated by the Mother Earth herself
I want to let it go
And constantly remember to myself that it all doesn’t matter and makes sense
At all.
I want to see what it’s like to feel myself, out there
Out where no human harm exists
Out where no one exists
I want to escape from the feeling that everyone needs to be in the cycle
I want to drop out everything, and prevent myself
From this nonsense that’s been going on for way too long.
I also want to escape from feeling normal,
But feel like how I’ve been dreaming to feel as I write these words.
Copyright © Cemre Ozay | Year Posted 2023
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