Home Is Where
My amorphous feelings clamber up the walls as I take a last look,
then turning my head against my so-called “home” in the society
whilst dreaming of the future I’ve been looking forward to since I was conscious
I galvanize myself with the thought of feeling free
as I venerate the ones that gave me birth but never their full love.
The ones that were never audacious enough to tell their part of biology
that they were proud of her, at least.
The ones that always kept their genuine and harsh emotions inside,
and never vociferous on the outside. Never once.
Leaving now, condoning their little to no respect, inexorable judgments,
being at peace with their non-parental behaviors
it stops my soul from being eaten by the anxiety itself.
Being grateful for everything, forcing myself to believe that
everything was ‘meant to be’ all along.
Now I’ll feel lighter and evolve into a bird in the shortest time possible,
I’ll tell myself that the storm has passed,
and now it’s time for me to sunbathe in the sun while watching the rainbow come out
in the brightest sky, and forgetting every scar when I close my eyes.
“The stronger I close my eyes, the more powerful I will feel,” I think to myself,
“Everything will disappear as I close my eyes, the worst days are gone”
I think to my inner self that’s been a kid waiting silently for this moment.
August 27th 2023.
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