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Julie Portwood Poem
I am tired of being punished for the actions of others.
I did not rob you.
I did not hurt you.
I did not do any wrong by you.
Do not hold me accountable for their actions.
If someone else was a loudmouth
It is not my fault.
I have no control over other peoples actions.
I am not their keeper.
I am me.
I am only responsible for me.
I am not the stereotype.
Don't treat me as such.
See me as I am.
Not as they are.
Stop punishing me for their actions.
See me as the individual that I am.
Put your hate and ignorance aside.
Treat me the way I deserve.
Look at who I am.
Judge me for MY actions only.
Stop grouping me.
Stop taking my individuality away.
Do not blame me for what they did anymore.
I am an individual.
I expect to be treated as such.
Copyright © Julie Portwood | Year Posted 2009
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Julie Portwood Poem
(I actually wrote this poem a year ago, but because of some recent events, it still applies)
I thought we were cool.
I thought we were friends.
But those words you said,
Stabbed me in the back of my head.
I didnt see it coming.
I couldnt believe my eyes.
What you did, really took me by surprise.
I thought you understood me.
You defended me from that jerk.
But all along, you were just like them.
Waiting for your chance to inflict hurt.
You will never realize, how hurtful your words were to me.
You will never understand, how confused you made me
You were one of few friends i had to my name.
But maybe i was too expectant, to believe, that you were not the same.
In the end.
I lost a friend.
I must have never meant much to you.
For you to say what you said.
You talked down to me.
As if i was a dog.
You treated me like i was stupid
And had no mind of my own.
I will never understand your hostility.
Friendless, i truly am.
Trusting, i no longer should be.
Anger and resentment reside in me.
but it wont consume me.
I will eventually move on.
You will be nothing but a faint memory.
Forgotten you soon shall be.
I dont need friends.
To make me happy.
Copyright © Julie Portwood | Year Posted 2010
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Julie Portwood Poem
I like to wear hoodies.
They keep me warm.
I own no coat.
I almost always have a hoodie on
Sometimes even in the summer.
Hoodies make me feel better,
Its like a shield.
It makes me feel a little less insecure
It can also serve as a comfy pillow
I love hoodies.
I wear the hood to hide from humanity,
To go off into my own little world.
Hoodies are great.
They come in zip ups and pullovers.
Heavy and thin
And various colors.
I love hoodies.
Copyright © Julie Portwood | Year Posted 2009
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Julie Portwood Poem
Eyes icy as ever
Staring into the midnight moon
Not a single movement
Off in her own world.
It’s the story of her life.
She can no longer feel.
For she had been hurt so very much.
All she had wanted was to find love.
Each time she was let down.
She was told not to lose hope
To never give up.
And so she didn’t
And she always ended up disappointed.
It finally hit her one day…
It was never going to happen.
She was never going to find love.
She was destined to be alone.
It pained her so horribly.
She stayed in bed for days.
Staring at the ceiling.
Crying her eyes out.
Screaming out loud.
All she wanted was love.
But now she knew it was never going to happen.
A part of her died inside.
Everyone continued to tell her to think positive.
But she could no longer put herself through that pain.
Her icy eyes still unmoved as she stands there still watching
The midnight moon.
She built a wall to get rid of the pain.
Although emotionless and heartless,
At least the pangs of unrequited love will never bother her again.
Copyright © Julie Portwood | Year Posted 2009
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Julie Portwood Poem
Glass like eyes
Cold stoned heart
Emotionless expressions
Empty soul
Dead inside
Lost
Faraway
Gone Forever
Copyright © Julie Portwood | Year Posted 2009
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Julie Portwood Poem
No one to hold my hand
No one to hug me
No one to say "I love you"
No one to care for me
Never to be loved
Always to be alone
Crying alone at night
Suffering
Nobody wants me
I know it
And now I must live with the pain
I have no hope
Why be foolish
I know full well of my predicament
It's painful watching others in love,
Being cared for and wanted
I sit in my corner
All by myself
And cry, cry, cry.
Never to be loved
Always to be alone.
Copyright © Julie Portwood | Year Posted 2009
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Julie Portwood Poem
She was dead inside.
Hurt from all the pain.
The harsh words.
The rejection.
She cried all night.
She cried all day.
She longed for it to stop.
She longed for that day.
It never came.
She stopped feeling.
She hid her emotions.
She punished everyone she knew.
She laughed at their misfortune.
Her eyes were full of anger.
Her eyes were full of spite.
She did not care for what she had become.
It was her way of having fun.
She could not be reasoned with.
She was only hated more.
But some had grown to fear her.
For she had nothing to lose.
The hurt and pain that made her be this way.
Only happened more.
She met her match in a new bully.
Who questioned her authority.
Who made her feel small again.
Refusing to show her hurt, she struck back.
She made everyone pay.
She hurt everyone else in return.
Everyone rebelled and fought her back.
They made her feel smaller.
They told her she was cruel.
This victim of bullying refused to believe
that she had become the very thing she hated.
She was losing it.
It became clear.
Their words of hatred directed at her.
Pushed her passed the point.
She lashed back in anger.
She was losing her power.
She refused to become the victim again.
She loved instilling fear and hurt into others.
It became quite clear to everyone.
This girl was in pain.
She was hurt badly.
She just wanted somebody to make it stop.
She was dead inside.
No one had ever come to her aid.
So she dealt with it her way.
She stopped feeling.
She stopped caring.
Yet the pain never did go away.
Her anger turned to tears.
Her weakness was now shown.
She pushed everyone out of her way.
She left.
Tomorrow would be a brand new day.
She would start somewhere new.
And so, once again, she ran away.
Copyright © Julie Portwood | Year Posted 2009
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Julie Portwood Poem
I understand that I will be single
I understand that I'll never find love.
I understand I am slated to be alone.
But knowing this
Accepting this
Doesn't make it less painful.
I'll be unhappy for a long time.
Wishing to experience what I'll never have.
One day I hope to finally not feel that pain.
But for now, no matter how much I know
This is the way God wants things,
It won't stop the tears or sorrow.
Copyright © Julie Portwood | Year Posted 2009
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Julie Portwood Poem
It happened when I was 10.
It got worse when I was 12.
My life was never the same.
And now its just pure hell.
I haven't been happy in a long time.
Bad things just continually happen to me.
Every day I get let down.
I always end up angry.
Depressed for so long, its become my life.
Its who I am.
I will never overcome this depression.
No psychiatrist has yet to actually listen.
Depression is me.
A sad life I lead, just waiting to be dead.
My depression is spontaneous, it can be
sparked by anything.
Sometimes I want to cry but I do not allow myself.
On the inside I am constantly screaming.
I am so full of pain.
Depression.
It will never go away.
Copyright © Julie Portwood | Year Posted 2009
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Julie Portwood Poem
The leaves fall.
The crisp air blows against my face.
Autumn is here.
Summer is over.
No more heat waves.
For now its going to be colder days.
The leaves make a crunch sound as
I walk on the sidewalk.
The wind quietly howling
Its the season for holidays.
Kids running amok dressed like heroes or monsters.
Or freaking out in joy while watching a scary movie.
Later its the women in the kitchen cooking the turkeys
making the mashed potatoes and baking the rolls
The men watching football.
The kids watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.
Autumn is peaceful
Autumn is quiet.
Autumn makes me feel warm inside.
Even if its cold outside.
Copyright © Julie Portwood | Year Posted 2009
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