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March Archer Poem
I have this inkling feeling each time before i break
a tightness in my chest, i swallow air
and each time i want to discard every piece of you i own
but i forget, forget, forget
i close it off, i just don’t think about it
and silently i let you barge in on my space
and ask for more
all you do is ask for more
then good days turn into bad days
and all my good poetry turns into bad poetry
now i’m standing in the shower thinking over my day
you didn’t do anything but disappoint me
i didn’t get a lot of birthday wishes this year
nor did my grandma send me the right book
but i wasn’t upset, cause there was always you
not anymore, i guess
at least not the way i want it
you make a point of walking over me and then wiping your feet
and i make a point of breaking down and crying like a little kid
and i don’t know how to say that i want to go alone
since you’ll follow me anywhere
but i need you to stop being attached
attached to me, your punching bag
Copyright © March Archer | Year Posted 2023
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March Archer Poem
In cold winter air, I tread to the beach
Looking for things that I think I need
A shell of some kind, washed up jellyfish
To the creaky shack, looking for things I missed
I crack open the door and the warmth hits my cheeks
Look back to the ocean, hoping it might speak
And tell me to stop, to not go underneath
But I never listen, I rinse and repeat
Whatever you’re cooking, it smells like a home
I reach out to call, and you pick up the phone
We fall back in bed to the sound of the tone
I open up, you let out a sweet moan
Write me your sweet words, sing me your songs
Tell me where to go and where to belong
I let the tide take me while I’m grasping at straws
I let the shark eat me, I swim right to its jaws
Bite marks and scratches, on what I depend
A cold dish that doesn’t taste sweet like revenge
Washed up to the shore with nothing to defend
I beg for you, darling, to hurt me again
Copyright © March Archer | Year Posted 2024
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March Archer Poem
Pleasure and exposure, closure
All of you steams and then boils over
All of you gleams and beckons closer
Raised well, all “yes, sir” “no, sir”
Naked edges, hollow scratches,
Bear witness as your world collapses
Get wild, dip me into the ashes,
Share your ambitions and your passions
Wild west, child now, child then
Insults are your ignorance, lucky guesses — your sixth sense
Horse kicks out, is it reflex or self-defense?
He doesn’t speak, so why don’t you just ask again
Generations came, shame evolved the same,
Open wide, tongue twists into a molten ruby flame
Get wild, Honey, call me by your name
Find newer ways to stake your claim
Three bullet wounds, like full blood moons,
Gunpowder smell across sand dunes,
You loved my singing and my tunes,
You made me think that love was good
Dances, made up through our glances
Slick back our hair, as tough as gangsters
Get wild, write a couple stanzas,
Running won’t get your questions answered
Copyright © March Archer | Year Posted 2024
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March Archer Poem
I wind and wind and wind
And then I watch the ballerina spin
I never get tired of the soft melody that accompanies her dance
The music haunts me in my days
I hear my neighbor playing it on her piano
And I think of the way you laughed, and talked, and moved your hands
And how you danced, and danced, and then you stopped
Because, well, the ballerina and the music cease too
The gears break, the spring bends too much
The box is cracked into pieces
I’m standing alone and wondering
If this was really what I wanted to feel
I lay at night hallucinating your voice
Thinking of things you could’ve said to me
If we had spent more time alone
And wonder how you did it
The same dull click of the closing music box
The torn off notes and the interrupted ballerina
The same dull look in your eyes
How did you do it?
Was it calloused rope or was it your uniform tie?
But they don’t wear ties in the military
They don’t wear white shirts with ironed collars
They only wear guns
You were wound and wound and wound
Forced to play this ugly music
Forced to spin around and dance against your will
I didn’t have the time to shut the box and let you rest
You got wound and wound and wound
Until you snapped
Copyright © March Archer | Year Posted 2023
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March Archer Poem
I clutch at the magazines,
the letters, the newspaper cutouts
I look through your old notebooks
tracing over rows and rows of numbers
a library catalog, a stamp
l’m looking for something more personal
something that could make me feel you again
there are birch trees everywhere you look
I missed them, I longed for them
almost as much as I longed for the time
when you would hug me, pat me on the head
and call me by a new name
every time I saw you it would be something different
it’s been years, but I only just became ready
to take this step, to forgive and forget
I prayed you get relief and you got it
but now I understand why they wanted to keep you for a little longer
why they wouldn’t let you go
I stare at the birch tree, right next to your old apartment building
and wonder if you would stare at it too
you probably didn’t, you didn’t care for them like I do
you’d just pass by and get home to your books
the books that lay in my room now
the books I grab, I flip through
in hopes of proving that you had once existed
that you weren’t just writing on a page
Copyright © March Archer | Year Posted 2023
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March Archer Poem
Beep beep beep
The motor is running, everything is in place
My heavy breathing fogs up the glass placed in front of my face
The various buttons, I want to press them, such a colorful display
Ladies and gentlemen, we’re making history today
I feel trapped by the crushing pressure, I let out a loud wail
Every moment counts, I’m about to drown, we’ve done it, we’ve tipped the scale
And just for a moment, for a split second, my rocket ship leads me astray
Everything breaks, I fall out the airlock, infinity pulls me away
My crew mates betray me, they cut off my chord, they say I can be on my own
Everything’s dark besides the stars in the sky, so far, so cold, so unknown
Then I turn my head, my eyes are so blurry but I see the earth in its grace
Ladies and gentlemen, I regret to inform you, we, are floating in space
Copyright © March Archer | Year Posted 2023
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March Archer Poem
we go ice skating
we go sledding, we go fight in the snow
your cheeks are red because it’s cold,
my cheeks are red because you’ve never touched me for this long
your fingers are long, your arms are long, you throw the snowballs hard
and you spin and spin on ice like a ballerina
then i slip and you smile at me and extend your hand for me to grab
except, i don’t slip, and you don’t smile
and i could never hold you
even for a second
i wished to be a young man but i was just a boy
and you were older, and lovelier
and handsome
and i was lonely, and confused and wanting more
it was innocent, and then it wasn’t
it was cold, refreshing
a snowball to the face
then it was heat, and lighting
an electrical shock down my back
when i wake up next to you
fully clothed, and i can’t deal with the longing
so i just lie
i traced your sharp cheekbones
and your long fingers
in pictures, my lips on your cheek
you didn’t mind
when a young boy who wears skirts and grows his hair out kisses you
you still have snowball fights, and go ice skating, and drink hot tea
go to parties and compliment his clothes
and laugh at his jokes
and lead him on like your life depends on it
you kept trying to solve that
rubik’s cube
but you never tried to solve me
a boy, a riddle, desperate to be found out
desperate to face the winter wind
my hands are frozen, i can’t feel my toes, my skin is turning pearly white
i would’ve given you all i had
each secret picked apart like you’re dissecting it
us, blown away by winter wind
us, melting away to frozen time
Copyright © March Archer | Year Posted 2023
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March Archer Poem
no one ever will love me poetically
i’ve thought about it, many times
people will savor me
they’ll enjoy me
they’ll take what i have to give
but never with bated breath
never with stars in their eyes
and the sky on their mind
they’ll hold my hand and stare blankly
they liked loving me, i guess
but never like a poet
and that’s okay, i accept my fate
this burden is mine to bare
but i will, yes i will
every person, every breath, every day
i will love through vivid colors
and sounds only i can hear
i’ll bend words to my will
and i’ll kiss and i’ll touch
i’ll feel glitter and sparks and bass
and clubs and waterparks
and space
i’ll love you like a poet will
i’ll love you like a warm embrace
Copyright © March Archer | Year Posted 2023
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March Archer Poem
she has the wrath of a god but the mind of a human
the steel grip of an eagle, but she’s painfully weak
i shake like a leaf
since whatever she’s doing
makes me scared to the bone, i can’t even speak
whenever she screams, the silence that follows
deafens me more than her voice
don’t prick your finger, thread in a needle
none of us are here by choice
her stare burns my skin; it’s shabby and marred
the scars on my knees are surgically placed
i’ll keep it together
my face stays unscarred
but i look like my father; she says it’s a waste
Copyright © March Archer | Year Posted 2023
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March Archer Poem
there’s nothing more i want
than to be your son
than to be loved
and cared for, like i’m one
i pretend it doesn’t bother me
but i always get excited, giddy
the moment you want to watch a movie with me
and when you don’t immediately reach for your drink
there’s nothing more i want
than to be your son
for you to call me “my boy”
why can’t i be your boy?
your oldest boy
there’s nothing more i want
than to leave my past behind
we don’t need to keep looking back
we don’t live there anymore
we’re different now
and i’ll grow and i’ll change
and i’ll keep wanting
cause i know that i’ll never ever be-
i’m always in the past
to you, at least
always the little girl with a head full of curls
that faded to blonde in the sun
always the youngest daughter
and never your oldest son
Copyright © March Archer | Year Posted 2023
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