Winter Wind, My Hands Are Frozen
we go ice skating
we go sledding, we go fight in the snow
your cheeks are red because it’s cold,
my cheeks are red because you’ve never touched me for this long
your fingers are long, your arms are long, you throw the snowballs hard
and you spin and spin on ice like a ballerina
then i slip and you smile at me and extend your hand for me to grab
except, i don’t slip, and you don’t smile
and i could never hold you
even for a second
i wished to be a young man but i was just a boy
and you were older, and lovelier
and handsome
and i was lonely, and confused and wanting more
it was innocent, and then it wasn’t
it was cold, refreshing
a snowball to the face
then it was heat, and lighting
an electrical shock down my back
when i wake up next to you
fully clothed, and i can’t deal with the longing
so i just lie
i traced your sharp cheekbones
and your long fingers
in pictures, my lips on your cheek
you didn’t mind
when a young boy who wears skirts and grows his hair out kisses you
you still have snowball fights, and go ice skating, and drink hot tea
go to parties and compliment his clothes
and laugh at his jokes
and lead him on like your life depends on it
you kept trying to solve that
rubik’s cube
but you never tried to solve me
a boy, a riddle, desperate to be found out
desperate to face the winter wind
my hands are frozen, i can’t feel my toes, my skin is turning pearly white
i would’ve given you all i had
each secret picked apart like you’re dissecting it
us, blown away by winter wind
us, melting away to frozen time
Copyright © March Archer | Year Posted 2023
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