Son

there’s nothing more i want 
than to be your son
than to be loved 
and cared for, like i’m one

i pretend it doesn’t bother me
but i always get excited, giddy 
the moment you want to watch a movie with me 
and when you don’t immediately reach for your drink 

there’s nothing more i want 
than to be your son
for you to call me “my boy”
why can’t i be your boy?
your oldest boy

there’s nothing more i want 
than to leave my past behind 
we don’t need to keep looking back
we don’t live there anymore 
we’re different now 

and i’ll grow and i’ll change 
and i’ll keep wanting 
cause i know that i’ll never ever be-
i’m always in the past 
to you, at least 

always the little girl with a head full of curls 
that faded to blonde in the sun
always the youngest daughter 
and never your oldest son

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