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Carmelitta Ward Poem
Men say they don't like masculine women, but will put you in a position to where you have to be one.
Where is the money coming from if my hands aren't the ones that are dirty.
The responsibility laid on the shoulders like a 400lb Boulder, make it work.
Not good enough to want to be with, but good enough to make a mother.
Inconsistencies constantly delighted in as we sit in silence.
Now we get to be strong for more than just ourselves. Masculine surface but you will never see the inside, the part that gets lonely and damn the part where you get tired. Make it work.
Hopeful in the thought that you may be changing but you remember the feeling of the steel toe on your foot when you get up in the morning.
Smoke train brain, damn, your smoking again.
They say let go of resistance just for today. Make it work.
But today is really yesterday on the third shift schedule.
Little eyes and hands reaching for you but you can't lift them because the pain in your back but you still have to find a way to lift their spirit.
Remember to remind them you are doing everything you do for them but time will be short until the weekend when you really need to sleep from the lack of hours you missed during the week, Trying to hold the heaviness in your eyes so you can see them smile.
How many years has it been now.. I'm loosing count and weight.
What's that mean? The family constantly watching but never calling. She must be on drugs or some . That's always the go to. Make it work.
Oh you got a little attention huh? Don't rush it, you know what happened last time. Didn't he say he didn't like masculine women anyway.
Smoke train brain, your smoking AGAIN. Can you just slow down for a minute because I can't.
Time to start over again just for today as they said or for the masculine yesterday.
FOCUS, your not finished. Those boots are heavy but so is your heart. Time to work on some more .
Make it work.
C.W
Copyright © Carmelitta Ward | Year Posted 2022
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Details |
Carmelitta Ward Poem
I am writing right now at 7:43 pm because I feel like someone is suffocating me from the inside. This anxiety is eating me alive, I try, I have strived but a wave of torment has taken over like a thief in the night. Its hard to swallow the pain and lets not forget the elevated frequency waves exhausting my brain. I am plain nothing out of the ordinary, I view life different because now it's ing scary. I have hid as a child asking what to do now while I sit in the silence of not knowing how. They bend you and spin you and say that we are free, no need to take refuge, this ones on me. These people barley have homeless shelters and throw families into the unknown, but I've seen this one before, no place to call home. If I had mapped out the future or quality of life I still don't think i would have gotten it right. This system they have, will leave you wishing you weren't here while we lay awake at night repeating bible verses rebuking fear. Don't let it take me, I'm trying to dig myself out. Can it rain a little because my life has been in a terrible drought. I'm frozen and lost and I still have what faith I was given and shown and I still can't escape. Misery loves company, please see I am alone I do not want to make misey my home. If only by hand, take the misfortune aside, give me a place where I can make it and thrive. The suffocation is calming down as I sit in the sun, but if I had a way out I would definitely run. Lord you owe me no mercy but I beg of you this, if you can't save me now, at least save my kids.
Copyright © Carmelitta Ward | Year Posted 2023
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