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John Davison Poem
R is for the repeated distortions of facts,
A for press articles written with hacks,
M for the emphasis placed on survival,
P for the piss taken out of your rival.
A for analogies that never convince,
N for false narratives making us wince,
T for traditional values cast-off
That cause umpteen scholars and clergy to scoff.
L is for lovers whom I dream of all night,
E for electric bills high as a kite,
T for temptations I can’t keep at bay,
H for Matt Hancock - please God stay away!
A is for the arse he fondled intensely,
R for resigning - we respect that immensely,
G is for the government of which he was part, and
Y for the yes-men aboard that rotting cart.
Copyright © John Davison | Year Posted 2022
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John Davison Poem
Bill Shakespeare is wanted for hate speech,
His study’s surrounded with tape.
The local police were slow to react,
He may already have made his escape.
There’s a chance that he’s gone into hiding
To work on the draft of a play;
Anne Hathaway helps with enquiries:
Where’s old Bill? She’s refusing to say.
She cannot abide the intrusion,
As detectives examine each sonnet,
If she pops down the market she wears a dark cape
And hides her face under a bonnet.
She’s missing the warmth of her husband,
His sensitive hands and dark beard.
She hopes that they’ll soon be together
But meanwhile, her dear Bill’s disappeared.
And Bill’s understandably nervous
’Cause writing these plays is quite hard.
He enjoys married life with his beautiful wife
And his neighbours now call him “The Bard.”
The risks of a long legal battle
Could distract him for over a year,
If the courts rule against his linguistics,
That might end his productive career.
This poem references the emotions of fear, hope and love now that historic scripts are frequently re-appraised - and sometimes condemned - against modern norms and expectations.
Copyright © John Davison | Year Posted 2022
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John Davison Poem
The kitchen's disinfected, the worktops squeaky clean,
The laundry's in the wardrobe and nothing's left in the machine.
The crockery is washed and dry, it's stacked in cupboards, looking neat.
There's just one nagging problem, I've got nothing left to eat!
Copyright © John Davison | Year Posted 2023
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John Davison Poem
Let’s sail away to Acapella,
A celebrity haunt owned by Penn and Teller.
I shall act as your prince, you’ll be Cinderella
When we’re sat on a beach in Acapella.
It’s not as sexy as Cannes or as dowdy as Rhyl
But their choirs and ensembles will give you a thrill,
Acapella compares well to old Casablanca,
As you will observe once we have dropped anchor.
Their libraries don’t hold any musical score,
Acoustic folk singers are considered a bore,
All keyboards and trombones were sold overseas
And whistles restricted to football referees.
So you won’t hear the bagpipes of Kenneth McKellar
Or repetitive bass notes plucked by Paul Weller.
Your voice will entrance all the ladies and fellas
Once we’ve moored in the harbour of Acapella’s.
There fishermen bring ashore haddock and bream
Having sung shanties as a well-rehearsed team,
The salty sea breeze gives their voices a rasp
And the youngest amongst them let out a gasp!
Melodic and manly, the crews ride the waves,
Proud of their seamanship, masters not slaves,
They heed the advice of their mothers and aunties
But rarely acknowledge the source of their shanties.
Once a solitary busker was found in a yacht
And by all accounts he deserved what he got,
He was forced down the plank at the tip of a sword
Then his vintage viola was flung overboard!
On the pier you’ll find orators and callers at bingo,
But no jukebox is pumping out John, Paul or Ringo.
Pop or rock music gives locals the creeps,
It’s no wonder that George’s guitar gently weeps.
So, if Customs Control takes your squeezebox or trumpet
Don’t seek compensation, you’ll just have to lump it;
Those instruments go to a processing plant
Because singers are welcome but musicians aren’t.
We shall seek out the nightlife in numerous bars
Where the locals all sing without playing guitars,
Dodge the Lambrettas in quaint cobbled alleys,
Then stride across hills and along peaceful valleys.
So, if you’re tired of concertos or singles by Queen
Book a cruise to a place where they’re considered obscene,
It’s a magical island owned by Penn and by Teller -
The remote principality of Acapella.
So let us sail forth across the briny
In a luxury yacht - well furnished and shiny
To where your vocal range will be valued quite highly,
And you won’t have to sit through Baba O’Riley.
Copyright © John Davison | Year Posted 2023
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John Davison Poem
Look at Brian the badger
Slinking through the grass
Sleeping Susan rabbit
Doesn't see him pass.
Hunting for his breakfast
Every single night
Brian's not very fussy
He simply wants a bite.
Finds a broken ladder,
Scratches on a rung,
At last he finds some breakfast
He licks it with his tongue!
Did that make you hungry?
Is this story real?
I guess you're looking forward
To tomorrow's meal?
01 March 2023
Copyright © John Davison | Year Posted 2023
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John Davison Poem
Just climb onto the back of my Harley
And we shall ride to the songs of Bob Marley,
In no time at all
We'll be in Senegal,
Though I might stop for lunch in Kigali.
Copyright © John Davison | Year Posted 2024
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John Davison Poem
When devouring a hot chicken pie
An advertised flat caught my eye,
I would hazard a guess
Judging from its address
That the asking price wasn’t too high.
I collapsed in a state of deep gloom
When the landlord denied me that room,
He said “Nothing’s worse
Than a chap who writes verse!”
Within minutes I started to fume.
After snatching some six hours of sleep
I thought I should challenge that creep,
For with scant explanation
His discrimination
Might cause a young snowflake to weep.
I knew I should counter his crime
With an angry yet passionate rhyme,
He was powerful and scary
And so arbitrary,
And his property’s well past its prime.
My letter, dispatched the next day,
Employed words that I’d rather not say
(They are not in the bible),
Then he sued me for libel,
So his rent I’m not able to pay.
So the lesson is easy to see -
Do not venture to write poetry.
It could end in defeat
Then you’re stuck on the street,
Simply begging for coffee or tea.
Copyright © John Davison | Year Posted 2023
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John Davison Poem
If you're sitting comfortably and have locked your mobile 'phones,
I'll tell you all a story about Indiana Jones
I met him on a wooden bench whilst strolling through a park
He was mumbling incoherently about some missing ark
At some point back in history, a loaded ark set sail
The animals had disembarked according to his tale
Instead, some coins and jewellery were loaded from the dock
But several chests were not secured and the hull began to rock
I offered him some peppermints to show my gratitude
And listened hard for any hints of track or latitude
His plans seemed very tentative but he clearly had ambition
But didn't even know the name of this ark, or its position.
The headland where the ark decayed was really quite remote
And the islanders with crates of gold, they didn't want to gloat
The bodies of the final crew were never, ever found
But Mister Jones was quite convinced - that ship had run aground.
The barmaid had a hunch the wreck was east of the Azores
But she had no time for banter, 'cos she had to do her chores
If she shared her speculation, she'd be scolded by her mum -
Were it not for weekly meetings, they would not be selling rum.
I never went back to that pub to meet that motley crew
Whose plans seemed quite ridiculous, I had better things to do.
If you are ever tempted to sail away in stormy weather
Steer clear of men with stubble, wide-brimmed hats and shabby leather.
Arks are ships of substance with many planks and beams
Losing one is careless and much harder than it seems
If a fellow on a park bench engages you in conversation
Stand up to him and shout “Raid an ark of known location!”
Copyright © John Davison | Year Posted 2022
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John Davison Poem
A is for Airspeed who graduated from Oxford
B is for Bristol with their whispering giants
C is for Convair and Canadair also
B recalls Boulton-Paul who built many Defiants.
D for De Havilland and those sleek Comet racers
E for the energy shown at Embraer
F connotes Fairchild who made a Packet or two
And G stood for Grumman at whom few tomcats stare.
H means Handley-Page or old Hawker-Siddeley
Astounding the globe with their jump-jet designs
I’s for Invincible, she sailed with Sea Harriers
J for the Jetstream with its dynamic lines.
K stands for Kaman so creative with rotorcraft
L must be Lockheed, the Starfighter’s dad
Whining like werewolves when losing their airspeed
Sure to send shivers down the spine of some lad.
M is for Mooney, sleek princess of pistons
N recalls Northrop proud makers of Hornets
Patrolling our oceans from carriers grey
Safeguarding airspace up close to the Arctic
Or defending the cargoes we import every day.
O for the Ospreys whose engines can tilt
P means Piaggio with rare pushing propellors
Drowning-out tenors with their monotone song
Queue for the taxiway, proceed as instructed
Safe separation your life will prolong.
R for those Robins with oddly cranked wings
S stood for Sopwith, with taut wiring and struts
T for the Taylorcraft, no need for sprung nosewheel
U for the uniformed men in rough huts.
V for those Vickers from Brooklands ascending
W for Westland down Somerset way
X-painted large means don’t use this runway
As it’s not been maintained for many-a-day.
Y is the yearning to sit in a cockpit
To strap oneself tight to a privileged seat
Z for the Zeros that rattled their cannons
And so strafed the decks of a Pearl Harbour fleet.
Copyright © John Davison | Year Posted 2024
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John Davison Poem
I’ll apologise here at the start
For this verse won’t appeal to your heart.
So banal, it’s a shame
But I’ll shoulder the blame
’Cos it's not rude, nor funny, nor smart!
Copyright © John Davison | Year Posted 2022
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