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Hailey Noah Poem
I wake up and my mind starts racing,
You say you’ve never anxiety my god that must be amazing,
I try to find the root of mine but i can't trace it,
I walk around like your words don't phase me,
But honestly i hate how you trash me,
But feel insecure when you try to praise me,
Hailey your talent is beautiful and honesty amazes me,
Dear anxiety helped me,
Please dont kill your self saved me,
It’s my depression talking when i feel crazy,
and that's more often than not lately,
I look up to heaven like God please save me,
But i get nothing in return,
Because if i could tell you what i say to my bedroom ceiling,
You’d realize im at my worst,
God I know we have had the most on and off relationship and it feels like your not as active as satin is,
But four inch concrete seems to listen better,
My whole life people have came into my life to get what they can get,
But once they can't take anymore they leave,
Am i that messed up,
Because i trust this room more than anyone,
when i try to tell anyone it just keeps going in circles,
I can fake it to the therapist and play it smooth,
Even though i want to scream so loud and trash the room,
I don't know why you cringe when i say i don't want to live,
Honestly i daydream about they day i get put in the casket and laid to rest,
Maybe God’s grace found me just a little to late,
Because i've wasted a lot of years breaking a lot of hearts,
What's my purpose god? What did you create me to be?,
I'm dying for you to just show up and say it to me,
Let me just spill my guts,
Let me be alone,
I've already found the perfect therapist,
It lets me forget for a short while,
But then i'm right back at the start,
Let me just give up,
Let me just let go,
If this isn't good for me,
Well I don't want to know.
Copyright © Hailey Noah | Year Posted 2021
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Hailey Noah Poem
I wake up and my mind starts racing,
You say you’ve never anxiety my god that must be amazing,
I try to find the root of mine but i can't trace it,
I walk around like your words don't phase me,
But honestly i hate how you trash me,
But feel insecure when you try to praise me,
Hailey your talent is beautiful and honesty amazes me,
Dear anxiety helped me,
Please dont kill your self saved me,
It’s my depression talking when i feel crazy,
and that's more often than not lately,
I look up to heaven like God please save me,
But i get nothing in return,
Because if i could tell you what i say to my bedroom ceiling,
You’d realize im at my worst,
God I know we have had the most on and off relationship and it feels like your not as active as satin is,
But four inch concrete seems to listen better,
My whole life people have came into my life to get what they can get,
But once they can't take anymore they leave,
Am i that messed up,
Because i trust this room more than anyone,
when i try to tell anyone it just keeps going in circles,
I can fake it to the therapist and play it smooth,
Even though i want to scream so loud and trash the room,
I don't know why you cringe when i say i don't want to live,
Honestly i daydream about they day i get put in the casket and laid to rest,
Maybe God’s grace found me just a little to late,
Because i've wasted a lot of years breaking a lot of hearts,
What's my purpose god? What did you create me to be?,
I'm dying for you to just show up and say it to me,
Let me just spill my guts,
Let me be alone,
I've already found the perfect therapist,
It lets me forget for a short while,
But then i'm right back at the start,
Let me just give up,
Let me just let go,
If this isn't good for me,
Well I don't want to know.
Copyright © Hailey Noah | Year Posted 2021
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Hailey Noah Poem
It's the late nights all alone for me,
My thoughts get the best of me,
Suicidal thoughts force me to picture Mom and Dad, and the beast inside of me is like, "Hailey, can't tame me!"
Broken ribs from people thats kicked me when i fell,
I feel disgusting, my stomach turns
Why do people obsess over me? This isn't your concern
You wanna know the real me? Just listen, and you'll learn
I'm tired of working for something that I can't earn
I’m tired of falling when it’s my turn
I'm tired of these voices, and I’m tired of you
I look to Heaven like, "God, please save me!", and I get nothing in return
What's my purpose God, what did you create me to be,
I'm dying for you to show up and just show it to me,
Because honestly i daydream about the day i get put into my casket and laid to rest,
Don't act like you know me if you’ve never walked in my shoes,
I've been slandered, manipulated, and physically abused,
So I write poetry because it helps with the blues,
I trust nobody, are they fake or are they real?
I lie awake shaking, and I can't sit still
Crying out, "Help me!", but nobody will
There's a time to laugh and a time to kill
And to be honest, I'm ready to die
I have no more tears left to cry,
Can't save me, but I still try
Like I'm doing CPR on myself
We're not alike, look at me, I can tell
I'm not okay, and I don't feel well
It's been several years since i've felt okay,
Been struggling to stay afloat if you can't tell
Waves of anxiety, I get swept in the swells
Imprisoned in my paranoia, I'm locked in its' cell
What's the point in living when life's a living hell?
Copyright © Hailey Noah | Year Posted 2021
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Hailey Noah Poem
Pain,
It can come in many different forms,
An mine does,
Not knowing how to handle it,
Becomes a bigger struggle every day,
At times i wonder how much longer i can carry it,
But i know i cant talk to anyone,
Because i cant put it how they will understand,
They say you just want attention,
Hailey grow up,
Come back when you will talk,
But deep down i wanna poor it all out,
But it's just trapped up inside,
I know you all think i have it great,
But honestly it gets harder everyday,
I wish i could just restart,
But i don't think i can go through all the pain again,
I’m trying,
I really am,
And they said life gets harder,
Believe what your parents say kids,
Because you think people love and care about you,
But they only do for themselves,
Some people will treat you like there support for whatever they need,
And some people go way to far,
And they just push you to your breaking point,
And that only makes it harder,
Because you can't just walk up to someone,
And be able to tell them what just happened,
If you yourself can't believe it just happened,
Once that person was your hero,
Was once your family,
But now you don't want to be anywhere near them,
If your holding onto pain,
Come to me,
I’ll listen,
I’ll understand you,
And there for i want to let you know,
God loves you,
And I love you,
Be strong.
Copyright © Hailey Noah | Year Posted 2021
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Hailey Noah Poem
You are the hero,
The main character,
The one trying to hold the story together in your shaking hands,
Our lives are just like books,
Filled with numerous chapters,
Could be disasters,
You are the story,
You are my story,
I am the protagonist,
Yet also the antagonist,
A blessing and a curse dropped into your lap,
I know that you will overcome your enemies in the end,
I bite my tongue even though its hurting,
I keep your secrets till my chest is burning,
That's usually a goodish enough storyline that melts the audience,
But people like myself who do not melt sees the true sadness in the lack of melting,
We do not melt because we have been melted ao much that we went for an operation and we came out transformed,
We are now metal,
And I'm sorry to disappoint that antagonist/antagonist who becomes a protagonist,
But the best I would ever be able to do to you is to warm your heart.
Copyright © Hailey Noah | Year Posted 2023
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Hailey Noah Poem
Hailey,
I wish someone would of warned you,
Let yourself be prepared for everything,
Your stronger now,
And you don’t worry they said,
Your safe now,
I wish you would of been ready for what was coming,
Because it would of saved a lot of our decisions,
Your trying to pick yourself up again,
But it seemed like every time you were almost done.
You fell apart all over again.
And now we're back at the start,
You gave up trying to heal yourself,
So you healed everyone else,
At least i love you right?,
Now that I have told you,
Would you like to continue with this?
Copyright © Hailey Noah | Year Posted 2021
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Hailey Noah Poem
I love you,
Not because you love me,
But because you saved me,
You are the reason i'm here,
The reason i smile,
I love you for who you are,
You accept me as I come,
And you dont expect me to change,
The distance between,
It gets hard at times,
But I know we will get through it,
Because without you,
I'm nobody,
I love you,
More than you'll every know,
More than you'll ever see.
Copyright © Hailey Noah | Year Posted 2021
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Hailey Noah Poem
My counselor says im going wild,
My therapist wants to do a family therapy,
I tell him I can’t do another one,
The last two were filled with fake smiles and lies,
I opened up and told them how I felt,
They took my feeling,
Laughed at them and threw them away,
It doesn’t matter if they treat me like crap,
But when I stand up for myself,
I'm the one in the wrong,
I'm the one getting yelled at,
So it’s wrong to want better for myself?
I do everything they ask,
Just to be told I am still the problem,
I wonder if I use again if it would only be one time,
Besides of not being able to sleep,
Throwing up after I eat,
I tell them in fine,
I try and try,
When I open up to someone,
I can only cry,
It all builds up inside,
But if I cry they start picking me apart,
Like i'm the fuzz in your banket,
I don’t write this poetry for you but for me,
It is the only way I can let loose,
How can I help people if I can’t even help myself,
It's always Hailey this,
And Hailey that,
I'm proud of those that never ask “am I enough?”,
Because I ask myself that every single day,
And the answer never changes,
I'm ready to let go and just sink,
I walk into a church one asked how I was,
As the rest looked like they seen a ghost,
They say they will ask those we know about me,
But little do they know I don’t talk to those we know,
Whatever your going through,
Just know I’ve been there too,
You have a choice,
And I love you
Copyright © Hailey Noah | Year Posted 2023
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Hailey Noah Poem
I have found my reason why,
The thought of it makes me want to cry,
It wasn’t for the attention,
Or to keep me from leaving,
It is the pain and trauma,
I buried down under,
I have come to hate this time of year,
Feeling dry when it is near,
Scratching was a temporary thing,
I never deal with this pain,
Does this make me insane?
I know I need to set it free,
But my heart starts to bleed,
See January 19th is the day she left me,
This time of year I get lost in who she's supposed to be,
It is the last thing I have,
Because she took a different path,
I know I will see her again,
But the world took my bestfriend,
She couldn’t hold on,
But I still have to carry on?
I haven’t went and seen her in awhile,
I’ve been holding myself hostile,
She brought out the best in me,
Which no one gets to see,
She’d feel crappy,
If she knew I can’t find my happy,
But my love to her,
Losing it is my biggest fear,
Losing it is like losing all of her,
It’s been eight years,
And I still have nightmares,
I just need her right here.
Copyright © Hailey Noah | Year Posted 2024
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Hailey Noah Poem
If my tears could talk
They'd tell you what I cannot,
If my tears could talk,
All the time I have lost,
Where I lost myself along the way,
Dad's got an addiction,
Been running away for too long,
He hasn't been the same since i was little,
If my tears could talk,
I wonder what they'd say,
I used to be my mamma's little girl,
Now she's the villain in town.
If my tears could talk,
This is the story they would tell,
Listen closely as my tears begin to yell.
They have been quiet for too long,
When I look in the mirror,
I am the only one around.
I've been playing the same old game,
People looking down instead of up,
I wonder what is up with these grownups.
If my tears could talk,
I wonder what they would say.
Copyright © Hailey Noah | Year Posted 2023
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