Me

I wake up and my mind starts racing, You say you’ve never anxiety my god that must be amazing, I try to find the root of mine but i can't trace it, I walk around like your words don't phase me, But honestly i hate how you trash me, But feel insecure when you try to praise me, Hailey your talent is beautiful and honesty amazes me, Dear anxiety helped me, Please dont kill your self saved me, It’s my depression talking when i feel crazy, and that's more often than not lately, I look up to heaven like God please save me, But i get nothing in return, Because if i could tell you what i say to my bedroom ceiling, You’d realize im at my worst, God I know we have had the most on and off relationship and it feels like your not as active as satin is, But four inch concrete seems to listen better, My whole life people have came into my life to get what they can get, But once they can't take anymore they leave, Am i that messed up, Because i trust this room more than anyone, when i try to tell anyone it just keeps going in circles, I can fake it to the therapist and play it smooth, Even though i want to scream so loud and trash the room, I don't know why you cringe when i say i don't want to live, Honestly i daydream about they day i get put in the casket and laid to rest, Maybe God’s grace found me just a little to late, Because i've wasted a lot of years breaking a lot of hearts, What's my purpose god? What did you create me to be?, I'm dying for you to just show up and say it to me, Let me just spill my guts, Let me be alone, I've already found the perfect therapist, It lets me forget for a short while, But then i'm right back at the start, Let me just give up, Let me just let go, If this isn't good for me, Well I don't want to know.