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Ntsebeng Maloka Poem
If i die today
Take me up the mountain.
Bury me next to the wildflowers
Bury no one next to me
Sing "Seteng sediba "
Sing "Kanana"
For i have breathed , I have never lived, I've never felt alive
The mountain was the only thing that made sense
The only thing that took my pain away
If i die today
Don't cry
for you failed to love me while i was alive
You failed to me see my value, my worth
But i don't blame you
For i too know i am useless
If i die today...
Don't waste your energy, efforts and money
Trying to give me a decent burial
All i want is to be taken up the mountain
Where my soul always longed to be
Where peace is reality
Where serenity isn't a wish
My perfect view
How i always described it
If I die today take me up the mountain
Bury me next to the wildflowers
Bury no one next to me
Sing "seteng sediba "
Sing "kanana"
Because that's my perfect and beautiful world.
Copyright © Ntsebeng Maloka | Year Posted 2021
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Details |
Ntsebeng Maloka Poem
I've always told myself, "never dive too deep
for you'll get hurt "
but now that I did
all I feel is emptiness ,a chance to start all over ,
be someone new ,
undo my mistakes ,
undo my choices...
Then I wake up ,realising that it was just a nightmare ,
something designed to haunt me and want me to feel shallow,
feel nothing but pain,
then I think of taking a razor blade and cutting open my veins to relieve them, and finally I would be free and do away with pain
but death doesn't want me… he doesn't want me to rest ,
its like he feeds off my suffering so,
he sent me back to reality ...
my blade mocked me ,told me that I didn't cut deep enough
my arm was crying, saying that it was tired of the scars
my heart ...
still ache with the thought of suicide
so since then with each sun set comes a wish, a
wish that I close my eyes forever ,be quite and not see the dawn
but my wish hasn't been fulfilled
i failed to summon a genie to perform me miracles.
So every night before bed as I pray
i feel confused as to say
“thank you lord for another day” …
as each day dawns with pain.
Copyright © Ntsebeng Maloka | Year Posted 2021
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