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Judith Hero Poem
The body electric; it moves about
On fire from a heart that has exploded.
Suspicion of me; eyes on me. I didn’t do it!
I merely sat idly by while they killed themselves
With drink.
I have a drink, and perhaps I shall
Have another, and the humanity of
The world will reflect in my glassy,
Blood-shot eyes.
I had a last hope but I gave it up,
And I am in pieces on the floor like
A mismatched puzzle; you can’t put
Me back together because none of
My pieces fit.
Whore, you dirty, exhausted mess; you are
Me in the mirror. That’s me, right? In this
Skin suit? In this foreign body?
The air is poisoned, and I can’t recognize
Anyone anymore. God has sent us plague
And fear of touch.
Diamond eyes, blue as the salt sea linger upon
My swollen flesh. Whose eyes? Lo! They
Are mine. They have always been mine!
I haven’t cried for you in a decade, but here
I am wearing your topaz ring,
And I can barely feel it there.
I am no prophet, yet I predict that I shall fail
At any sort of love other than yours.
I’m brave now because I took a pill, crushed
It between my fingertips and allowed the
Powder to travel through the cavity of which
My very breath emits.
My pupils are like the tips of a ballpoint pen,
My brain is swimming in luscious grandeur,
And it overwhelms me in a fantastic way.
Which one is the real me out of these
Two personas? Dry or full of the nectar
I’ve just consumed?
Whichever it is I am tired of me.
Scars, scars everywhere; so jagged
And never subjected to the fading
That stitches would’ve provided them.
I taped myself up like a doll that had
Been torn apart. I feared to remove the
Tape, lest I look upon the gaping wounds
And white muscle beneath.
Do not fear me. Beware.
Copyright © Catelyn Meeker | Year Posted 2020
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Judith Hero Poem
Skin and bones
Skin and bones
Should I be skin and bones?
I am.
I am.
And flesh
This flesh is a prison.
Peel me, pluck out my
Black organs and satiate
This emptiness,
This devastation that engulfs me.
Thunder, rain, and now a flash of
Lightening illumines my mismatched
Figure that I hate.
Hate.
Tell me you mean well and
Perhaps I’ll rise from this
Darkness or perhaps I’ll
Descend further into the abyss
Because I don’t believe you.
Copyright © Catelyn Meeker | Year Posted 2022
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Judith Hero Poem
All the men who took from me,
Who preyed upon my
Vulnerability,
Who stripped away my dignity,
I found them in their dreams and cut them
Down in the way they
Cut me.
I rise up in a fury breathing an angry,
Bright fire,
Shrieking like a banshee as the flames escape
My mouth.
I am the monster now.
Because no one ever
Bothers to learn the
Origins of villains, I won’t divulge the details of my own
History.
There isn’t time and
My heart is hungry
For revenge.
Copyright © Catelyn Meeker | Year Posted 2023
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Judith Hero Poem
You are pretentious; I
Am naive.
I don’t love you; I love
The idea of you that
Arrests my throbbing brain.
Abuser, cheater, liar, snake.
You are rotten from the inside
Out just like me.
I buried myself six feet into the
Dewy ground where worms crawl
Through the holes that once were
Eyes, and I bang, bang against the
Coffin because I forgot I’m
Still alive.
You albatross; you burden me
With your incessant photographs
Of your precious, evolved life.
It could have been my life too.
I don’t love you...yet I do.
Copyright © Catelyn Meeker | Year Posted 2020
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Judith Hero Poem
This is the era of echoes—
Echoes inside my hollow soul.
This is the time of broken hearts
And lost minds.
This could be a golden world—
Yet instead we are all grey.
A sign of the times—a war within our
Struggling hearts that pump crimson
Blood which shall ooze and trickle from
Our weary eyes.
You’ve left me alone in this necropolis—
And deep within my sepulcher my corpse
Strains to call out your name.
Copyright © Catelyn Meeker | Year Posted 2021
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Judith Hero Poem
I can’t swim in the murky waters
Of the dead things inside my skull.
If I reached for you, you’d
Not take my outstretched and
Shaking hand.
You sleep with her,
I sleep with a cadaver who
Was once you. It lies dead and
Limp and cold beside me above
The sheets that crawl with maggots.
You glow like the sky during
A yellowing sunset; I fade like
The deepest depths of the hell
Hole which consumes me and
Never has the courtesy to spit
Me out of its foul and cavernous
Mouth.
You love, I hate; I hate this bag of
Bone and flesh of mine.
My eyes sink into the back of
My head where I glimpse all
The petrified memories like
Photographs I want to set aflame.
Flies are feasting upon the
wretched stench of my soul;
I am a ghoul drenched in past
Blood stains and jagged scars.
I am too good for you;
You are too good for me.
Copyright © Catelyn Meeker | Year Posted 2020
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Judith Hero Poem
I must find control.
I must survive;
Surface.
I must defeat this demon,
I must see through the darkness
And find the sunlight.
Surface.
I must not die.
Not yet.
Could you be a little kinder?
Take me in your arms and
Tell me I’m just fine.
Tell me this won’t last forever
And ever.
Surface.
Now raise your hands
And dance in the bloody
Rain.
Surface.
Copyright © Catelyn Meeker | Year Posted 2022
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Judith Hero Poem
Mary Jane finds her true calling when her mind is bursting
At the seams.
She tries to overcome it as she thrashes and she screams.
I roll her in a joint and smoke her heavily.
She burns and becomes stale while she curses me.
She knows the love I have for her only comes from my addictive need.
She knows we’ll cut her up when she grows tall from her seed.
She’s trying to be someone else in her green cloud of smoke.
She tries to become poisonous so I’ll spit her out and choke.
I never let her rest and she’s tiring of me.
She longs to float far away from all of us and to finally be
Free.
Mary Jane is in pieces in a pipe that we will light.
She tries to pull herself together but she can’t put up a fight.
She used to be a friend of mine but now she’s in ashes on the ground.
I stand and face her sad distraction, and then I turn around.
Copyright © Catelyn Meeker | Year Posted 2020
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Judith Hero Poem
I breathe fire.
I'll turn you to stone with my stare,
And I'll collect you like
I've collected the others.
Line you up among the rest
Like a toy soldier just
To knock you down,
Repeat.
My thoughts are loud,
My brain is aflame.
I can't speak without regurgitating,
I can't breathe without first feeling
The palpitations of my weak heart.
I am a prisoner inside a skin I do not
Recognize.
Here are my eyes, blue and cloudy
And reddened with broken vessels.
Here are my hands, knuckles bruised,
Cuticles cracked and dry.
Here is my hair, balding,
Pulled out.
And there is someone in the mirror,
Someone I used to know.
Copyright © Catelyn Meeker | Year Posted 2022
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Judith Hero Poem
Down by the river there are stones inside my pockets and there is water in my lungs.
Just beside the water I can hear the church bells being rung, as I tumble, as I drag against the rocks and the garbage.
The music echoes underneath the surface, and I am swallowed whole.
I can recall the sanity my illness stole, while I’m drowning and no longer fighting to breathe.
I am well acquainted with their voices, yet they surprise me every time I hear them speak.
They still chatter even as my body sinks, lower and lower and fast I am carried away by the current.
Outlast and forgive a struggling poet, for I am no more, no more, no more.
My body washes upon the dirty shore, but it shall never be discovered.
Copyright © Catelyn Meeker | Year Posted 2020
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