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Rod Maughan Poem
Life is frozen, an endless winter night
My heart, deep inside, pumps slower now
My bones are brittle, as the cold encroaches
Locked in a sheath of frigid ice
Frost runs down the window panes
Of my soul, scarring me with a terrible beauty
Snow falls into the empty catacombs
Of my mind, covering up my path
The north wind takes the breath from me
And the chill runs all down my spine
A dark grey sky, no warmth to be found
The whiteness crunches sadly beneath my feet
Embrace the freeze, for there is no escape
From this sharp pain, this clear, bright pain
Feel the bleak and wintry gloom envelop all
Numbing limbs, I am quiet now, glacial and still
A ghost wind blows across the windswept tundra
Of my thoughts, until thinking slows then stops
Now waiting in pale hope for the Sun’s rays to melt
Away this cold, till life is frozen no more
Copyright © Rod Maughan | Year Posted 2019
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Rod Maughan Poem
In a little blue box
At the back of a drawer
In my bedroom for none to see
There is a small secret;
A piece of broken heart
In the shape of a tiny key
The box is locked tight
At the back of the drawer
Where I hide my treasury
Any who find it
They will never know
Just how much it means to me
Years will now pass
But it will always be there
Reminding of what could never be
For there was never a lock
It was ever meant to unlock
Sometimes a key is just a key
Copyright © Rod Maughan | Year Posted 2019
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Rod Maughan Poem
Coffee Snob
Here I am, the Coffee Snob
Whether with a Rich Tea or a Hobnob
Carrot cake is made so much more rewarding
With a coffee that needs more affording
Weak and white and milky and pale
Might as well dunk in a biscuit so stale
For coffee should taste like coffee should taste
Otherwise it’s a God awful waste
Rich and fruity or strong and biting
Flavour is important, that’s what I’m writing
Caffeine firing my senses to function
See me through the morning till I take luncheon
So take away your weak milky brew
Bring my own coffee, that’s what I’ll do
I need a hot drink that will embellish my brain
Anything less should go down the drain!
Rod Maughan
3rd Sept 2015
Copyright © Rod Maughan | Year Posted 2020
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Rod Maughan Poem
Staring into the bleak grey sky
Words cannot adequately supply
The reason... the meaning... why..?
I can only turn away and sigh
Much more out there to see
But how on Earth can this ever be?
Is there anything out there for me
To quench a soul that's so empty?
Just when the turmoil calms down inside
When my eyes seem more open wide
When I feel I no more the need to hide
Is when I discover part of me lied...
So turning again to the grey open sky
No more happiness can I buy
With coinage minted of hopes and sighs
I am still lost, is all I can surmise
Copyright © Rod Maughan | Year Posted 2019
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Rod Maughan Poem
Reaching out...
Must find some connection
Find my people, find my tribe
Find where I belong
But I keep pushing you away
Pushing you away
Forgive myself...
Be gentle and kind
That’s what it will have to take
For the cycle to break
To stop me pushing you away
(Come back to me someday..?)
The demon in me...
Misplaced anger turned inward
Is never sated, will see me ruined
Spoiler of friendships
Just keeps pushing you away
(I don’t feel I have a say)
I cannot have that
I am not worthy
Time and time again
I am so weary now
Why am I still pushing you away?
When all I want is for you to stay?
Copyright © Rod Maughan | Year Posted 2019
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Rod Maughan Poem
I stare at you - you don't see me
There is silence everywhere
I want to reach out and embrace
You are all about me, yet keep your distance
Through the haze I can see movement
Something stirs within your mantle
Now silence turns to soft whispering
I begin to sense you gaining strength
Once again I awaken to the world
Eyes open but I still feel asleep
One more time the Sun shines on me
And nature tries to lift me up
Suddenly your eye is upon me
I shudder in anticipation of your touch
Warm and soft you caress my face
I smile and enjoy the breaking day
Copyright © Rod Maughan | Year Posted 2019
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Rod Maughan Poem
Empty Windowsill
The sun shines through, feel the warmth
But you are gone now
You leave an empty space in our hearts
Never will be filled again
Your company and all your little ways
So dearly missed
Such sorrow we feel, such sadness and dismay
Almost 12 years, we were blessed
The empty spaces where you once were
I see them everywhere
I can call your name but you will not come
Only pictures now remain
So as the sun shines on, we miss your warmth
Things are not the same
And as the years go by, we’ll always remember
Our dear, sweet Tammy the cat
RIP late Spring 2007 - 11th Feb 2019
Copyright © Rod Maughan | Year Posted 2020
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Rod Maughan Poem
What is this feeling?
It nags at me deep inside
I try to pay it no attention
Yet it comes back all the time
I start to doubt everything
My abilities and my mind
I know there is no logic to it
But I can’t leave it behind
Yes I’m loved, and have friends
And don’t have a bad life...
Still I can’t shake the insecurity
Others must think I am blind
Sins of the past still haunt me
I ruined what was once so fine
Tried to forgive me and move on
And to myself be more kind
But some days there seems no escape
No reasoning and no rhyme...
I wish it wasn’t so complicated
I think I’m missing all the signs
Seems all I can do is live with it
Try and make peace, stop asking why
I think I’ll always have insecurity
A companion until the day I die
Copyright © Rod Maughan | Year Posted 2020
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Rod Maughan Poem
As the light fades fast on the final day
You’re in my thoughts, like on many a day
I wanted to end this year on a high
I wanted it so much, but I can now only sigh
To repair some bridges, and make this right
But alas not to be, not before tonight
So the year will tick over, a new one will start
And our friendship remains only in my heart
But a new day will dawn, I’ll keep wishing it so
Maybe some way, we can have another go
At a friendship so fine, so rare and so true
No wonder your loss keeps me feeling so blue
I know not what time I have left on the Earth
I don’t believe in heaven or in re-birth
I just want to undo the hurt that I caused
I just need our friendship put back on course
So Happy New Year, I can’t say it aloud
I can’t write it to you, (I don’t think it’s allowed)
I hope you are well, and your family is good
I hope your life is heading the way that it should
I wonder, how much you stop and think about me
I hope you remember when we were all so happy
The laughter and fun, the times that we shared
All the time spent showing each other we cared
Copyright © Rod Maughan | Year Posted 2019
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Rod Maughan Poem
Times like this when the darkness grows
When my heart just sinks and my depression shows
I can’t seem to control the ebbs and flows
And I teeter on the edge of the Abyss
Wisps of indifference reach out for me
A shapeless mass of pure insanity
Welcome back to nothing, welcome back to purity
And I wonder why I don’t just fall
Dreams have been unravelled and hopes forlorn
Into a world of such indifference I have been borne
And now at the mercy of time’s Hellish scorn
Yet as I gaze into nothing, I see everything
Within me the spark; I can’t put it out
That gives the most heartless the benefit of doubt
Yes, life can be cruel but there’s beauty all about
Yet as I gaze at everything I still sometimes see nothing
So at times like this when joy and light fade...
And all of life’s wonders turn to me to jade
I can feel nothing especially not afraid -
I’m just thankful not everything rhymes!
(originally written January 2015)
Copyright © Rod Maughan | Year Posted 2020
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