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Starlight Matis Poem
the fog clouds deep
my head grows clouded
as mist swirls in from above
enveloping my senses
and i wish i could just disappear.
it’s not that i want to die
i just don’t want to be here.
i just want to vanish for some time
and collect my thoughts in the void
i wish i could just disappear.
i’d like to hang in nonexistence
dive into obscurity
take refuge from myself
pull my brain from my head
and throw it to the ground
bursting in a shower of pink flesh
dripping blood onto the floor.
i just want to disappear.
why is that so hard to understand?
maybe i should leave.
maybe i should stop this poem before i-
i need to escape.
i need to get out of here.
help me out of here
i’m trapped within my own mind
the key, a gleaming knife
but i can’t bring myself to do it.
i can’t free myself from this cage.
suffering in silence
or risk an eternal stay in a mental hospital
where i’d waste away, a lunatic
i can’t
i can’t
i’d miss too much homework
too much school
how would i ever look at myself the same way again?
the confines of my prison are never this strong.
pressing inward upon my shattered soul
h e l p
i can’t escape.
i need to disappear.
i need to leave intact
but how do you fix what’s beyond repair?
Copyright © Starlight Matis | Year Posted 2020
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Starlight Matis Poem
all noise comes to a crashing halt
stifled by the sound of silence.
it is not a boom. it is not a bang.
it is a dive downward into nothingness.
the feeling in the pit of your stomach at the fall
on the edge of a waterslide.
the cars
propelled forward at breakneck speed
slam into a brick wall that isn’t there.
the drivers would catapult out their windshields
hurled into oblivion
if they could move.
but time has stopped, and they have stopped with it
as if they were encased in cement blocks.
the air hangs stagnant over the road.
it is peaceful here.
the stillness of the ponds’ waters
ocean waves suspended in midair
desert winds momentarily lifted
everything in the universe at a halt.
and the world picks up again.
Copyright © Starlight Matis | Year Posted 2020
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Starlight Matis Poem
Once upon a time, there was a girl who had a cat.
He was a long haired siamese, with eyes of aquamarine and strands of silver fur.
Every time the girl was sad, she'd lift her cat's paw and give herself a little scratch to remind herself of her beloved pet.
In this way, the girl would transform her sadness to joy.
With every insult thrown her way came a scratch.
Every loss, every heartbreak, it all went scratch, scratch, scratch.
Through this scratching, she'd turn her pain to dust.
The cat knew this wasn't normal human behavior.
No one else in the house picked up his paws like that.
Just her.
One day the girl came home after a particularly hard day. She'd failed two tests and lost a close friend.
Right away, she approached the cat.
"Take my pain away," she whispered. "Turn it to dust."
And with a scratch, it all was gone.
Copyright © Starlight Matis | Year Posted 2021
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Starlight Matis Poem
She stood by the citronella
staring at its jagged leaves
hoping they would grow and carry her away
Rooted in the ground, eyes drawn into its foliage
the caretaker peered over his cigar at her despair
removing the belt from his waist
his "sword" of fury
she called it his sword
for she did not know war
but she knew pain
the sword of fury thrashed down upon her back
she collapsed forward to the ground like a wounded soldier in battle
her face in the brown dust
blood seeping from her nostrils
igniting the soil with red
the caretaker smirked at her pain
she looked up through tear filled eyes
and saw a callous soul
the citronella plant was more righteous than him
in her desperation
she silently begged that the citronella
could lift her away from this hell.
Copyright © Starlight Matis | Year Posted 2019
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Starlight Matis Poem
Sleeping Beauty, Sleeping Beauty,
your kingdom will fall into disarray
Sleeping Beauty, Sleeping Beauty,
if you don't wake up today
Sleeping Beauty, Sleeping Beauty,
it's been a month or two or four
Sleeping Beauty, Sleeping Beauty,
people are sleeping on the floor.
The village people cannot move
immobile where they stood
It seems that time has stopped
Wake up to help them as you should
Sleeping Beauty, Sleeping Beauty,
your kingdom's falling into disarray
Sleeping Beauty, Sleeping Beauty,
if you don't wake up today
Sleeping Beauty, Sleeping Beauty,
it's been a year or two or four
Sleeping Beauty, Sleeping Beauty,
people are starving on the floor.
You must go, you must wake
You may be cursed but you must be
The queen we want, the queen we need
The queen who'll solve our misery
Sleeping Beauty, Sleeping Beauty,
your kingdom's fallen into disarray
Sleeping Beauty, Sleeping Beauty,
if you don't wake up today
Sleeping Beauty, Sleeping Beauty,
it's been a decade or two or four
Sleeping Beauty, Sleeping Beauty,
people are dying on the floor.
The people outside the sleeping village
Have no farmers, have no friends
because inside the town were all our lives
And we will meet our bitter ends.
Sleeping Beauty, Sleeping Beauty,
your kingdom's gone, and all is grey
Sleeping Beauty, Sleeping Beauty,
you may never see the light of day
Sleeping Beauty, Sleeping Beauty,
it's been a century, maybe more
Sleeping Beauty, Sleeping Beauty,
people are dead on the floor.
Copyright © Starlight Matis | Year Posted 2020
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Starlight Matis Poem
As the final child of the catacombs fell
your plastic knife driven into their heart
as they evaporated into the wind
you didn’t stop.
you kept searching desperately for a new toy.
someone to slice
someone whose fragments you could scatter in the dying breeze
but nobody came.
As the ruins-keeper fell
laughing maniacally as your eyes hardened and hers faded away
you thought you were finished
but it was only the beginning.
as you continued onward
you wondered if anyone had missed out on your justice
ashes to ashes, dust to dust
but nobody came.
As the guardian of the frozen wasteland reached out to you
mercy flowed from his soul
but it bounced off of yours
and into oblivion.
as your fist hit his neck
there was no going back.
walking through the empty streets of a desolate town
you wondered where everyone was hiding
cowering in fear
all because of you.
you wondered if you could break down their doors and take their lives with it
but nobody came.
As the heroine made her last stand
and melted away into nothingness
the world’s last hope was gone
and the survivors burrowed away.
unreachable.
hidden away in a place of monstrosity
you pondered how to draw them out
so you could slaughter them like the demons they are.
but nobody came.
As the final star burst
leaving behind nothing but burned out embers
you prepared for the end.
Curious as to what would happen
when none were left.
as you walked through the abandoned city
gazing upon your final destination
you contemplated a world
where nobody would remember you
like you never existed at all
but nobody came.
As the fallen prince told his tale
of how he had cried out
for mother
for father
and when nothing happened
he cried out
for anyone to save him.
but nobody came.
As bones crumbled to soot
your soul had become ice.
your violence
your hate
you were scarred
and when they appeared
the demon who comes when people call its name
you took their hand
and the world was gone.
a blank void
just you.
your soul.
and them.
and as you realized your mistake
you called for anyone to pull you away from your wrongdoings
to save you from your crimes.
but nobody came.
This poem was adapted into a youtube video! Check it out at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V8JO8TwlmcE or https://bit.ly/3li8roI
Copyright © Starlight Matis | Year Posted 2020
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Starlight Matis Poem
Wrapped in bandages, I can hardly see.
But I know there's a world waiting for me.
I'm lucky to be alive; I know that as fact.
But for friends I've searched.
My mind, I've racked.
So I sit above my grave
listen to a dirge
and I wait
for a new life to emerge.
Copyright © Starlight Matis | Year Posted 2021
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Starlight Matis Poem
You can’t imagine how this feels.
To have everything in your favor
but one thought sends it crashing away
like a sand castle into the ruthless waves of the sea.
You can’t imagine how this feels
when you’re finally happy, actually happy
except for that one persistent reminder tugging on the back of your brain that none of it even happened anyway.
You can’t imagine how this feels
when you’re enjoying the warmth of your friends
when it hits you that they were never real in the first place.
It started with my imagination.
Like a fever it spread.
It was night when it dawned on me.
I’ll never see them again.
Copyright © Starlight Matis | Year Posted 2022
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Starlight Matis Poem
Will I be there on the rocket
when you fly back home?
Because we all know you're not one of us
and your people love to roam.
Will I be there as you soar away
gripping the wheel with fright?
Because I know that you fly recklessly
it'll turn your knuckles white.
Will I be there in your memories
when you lie in bed in slumber?
As your view extends skyward
Counting stars number by number?
Will I be there when you land
all the way back home from Earth?
Because I want you to remember me
and remember what you're worth.
You may be an outsider,
an alien, one would say
That doesn't mean I don't want to be with you
each and every day.
Copyright © Starlight Matis | Year Posted 2019
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Starlight Matis Poem
when i was young
my father played me their songs
and the message played from the speakers
was one of love.
"i want to hold your hand"
because when we touch, i feel happy inside.
"good day sunshine"
because you shine upon my love and i.
"something in the way she moves attracts me like no other lover"
because she is special in her own little way.
"when you told me you didn't need me anymore, i nearly broke down and died"
because i can't imagine a life without you.
09/05/19
For the Upcoming Birthday Celebrity poem contest
Sponsored by William Kekaula
Copyright © Starlight Matis | Year Posted 2019
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