Beyond Repair

the fog clouds deep my head grows clouded as mist swirls in from above enveloping my senses and i wish i could just disappear. it’s not that i want to die i just don’t want to be here. i just want to vanish for some time and collect my thoughts in the void i wish i could just disappear. i’d like to hang in nonexistence dive into obscurity take refuge from myself pull my brain from my head and throw it to the ground bursting in a shower of pink flesh dripping blood onto the floor. i just want to disappear. why is that so hard to understand? maybe i should leave. maybe i should stop this poem before i- i need to escape. i need to get out of here. help me out of here i’m trapped within my own mind the key, a gleaming knife but i can’t bring myself to do it. i can’t free myself from this cage. suffering in silence or risk an eternal stay in a mental hospital where i’d waste away, a lunatic i can’t i can’t i’d miss too much homework too much school how would i ever look at myself the same way again? the confines of my prison are never this strong. pressing inward upon my shattered soul h e l p i can’t escape. i need to disappear. i need to leave intact but how do you fix what’s beyond repair?