Best Poems Written by Ruth Hawkins

Un-Mother

I thought it was the rage I feared
underneath my hurt
underneath the pain 
of being un-mothered

I pushed down the anger - 
rationalized
intellectualized
normalized -
life as a child
with an un-mother

to avoid a rage I feared would destroy me … or her…. or …

a burning, white-hot, fist-punching, legs kicking, eyes blazing, feet stomping, full body rage

how could I not have seen
below the rage?
the tiny steps,
the slumping body,
the hung head,
the heaviness
of grief

a grief for being un-mothered

a grief that threatens to undo me

Oh! if only I had stopped at rage.

Copyright © Ruth Hawkins | Year Posted 2019