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Susan Christian Poem
To a "Friend", I still love
if you hear my whisper, I'll be waiting
The innocence that moistened your eyes
small fingers that cradled mine
long nights and quiet stares
conversations that lasted for hours
Gentle winds can be so scorching
aftermath of a great storm settling
we drift so slowly…pulling and tugging
reaching and groaning, in vain
Thrilling times of you so close
next to me, these raging emotions
tossing and turning, wondering and screaming
all in my head, and yet I speak plain words
You told me love is a burden
and I told you to reconsider
Those words we exchanged so long at night
I held them so close, too close
until they blinded me
Back and forth I went
jumping and falling and hurting
the sadistic cycle that kept me in motion
rupturing myself surreptitiously
And yet, the pain was so sweet
false pleasure that assured me peace
every moment, every waking hour
your face pulsed throughout my thoughts
A curse, a sin, it is
for me, of all people, to love
For so long, I saw myself in mirrors
an idea so stubborn that no one could love me
Friends, we were
you guaranteed me, it was true
but once the bucket was tilted, everything poured out
Oceans, seas, rivers…drowning in these sensations
Days passed and I reconciled my inner hurricanes
A perfect adolescent with bright eyes and smile
nothing changed outwardly, but I was messy
disheveled on the inside
but no one was the wiser
A roller coaster at a sudden stop
I asked you, “Do you love me?”
Completely out of context, completely out of character
and yet you replied, “No.”
Copyright © Susan Christian | Year Posted 2008
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Details |
Susan Christian Poem
The moon appeared late at night
and a fluorescent lady shown about me
with a soft voice and pale fingers
she asked,
"What troubles you?"
I could have said several things, because
in reality, I really was quite troubled
But I smiled, and instead of pouring my problems,
I asked her,
"What troubles you?"
Taken back by my response, she stared at her moon, her home
and she gazed passed it, her lips quivering, eyes moistened
"The people here are so complex
unlike anything I've ever witnessed
they are mean, cruel, thrive off pleasure, and yet
their hearts are weak and easily broken
their minds are so transparent, it is barely there
and I worry for them, I worry for you."
Her words were deeply moving, and I stared at her dress
thin and woven in an unearthly satin
lace and buoyant, cleansing material
I asked her,
"Why do you worry for others?
You are beautiful and not among us,
yet your heart breaks for such disgusting things."
She moved beside me, her thin feet stepping
gracefully on the carpet of my room
through the window that opened to the sky
and her hand rested on her knees
and she spoke.
"Child, one's past is never a glass case
one's beauty is often a barrier of ugliness that lies within
love is a stupid, drunken fool, who confuses everything he sees
and I took part in his company.
"Much time ago, when your kind was still developing,
I found a man of such beauty! I was entranced by him.
He had a beautiful heart, a sweetened mind
he was pure and angelic, and yet among you.
I fell in love with him, a forbidden thing
of which I pined for him every night, wishing he could join me
or I could join him
But days passed, as they do on this world,
he become aged, and his heart pined for someone else
jealousy overthrew me, and I hated the one he loved
the one he called dearest, and I sought out to kill her
a dreaded decision, for once I let her fall to her death
this pure, wonderful man could not bear a world without
this mere, pathetic woman
and he took a worthy knife and killed himself
I wept for days, and I saw my love as a fool
stupid and pathetic, wishing for nothing to be the same
until I realized what he was
a man amongst several, several of them
of one I happened to love.
As I am, I laughed
because troubles are temporary, and are meant to be
when I ask those among you every night,
'What troubles you?'
I get the same answers every time.
And as that pure man I loved,
they will fall to their same demise."
Copyright © Susan Christian | Year Posted 2008
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