For months I've been away from the Soup
And I just learned about all the scoop
Contest on crap and farts
From smelly body parts
Toilet humor all 'bout making poop
Wife got mad when I forgot to flush
She yelled at me then gave me a brush
She told me that unless
I clean up my own mess
I'd have to poo outside in the slush
Do not insult me with your yapper
I know I've never seemed quite dapper
My turds never smell sweet
They stink more than my feet
When I take a mid-morning crapper
Categories:
yapper, humorous,
Form: Limerick
Friendly and ferocious, yapper-pup hurls red-sweater embrace.
Demure sisters bark in pink, their tandem peek-a-boo’s, I chase.
2/10/2022
YOUR BEST RHYMING COUPLET, #4
Sponsor: L Milton Hankins
Categories:
yapper, animal,
Form: Couplet
McMcBisky a gentleman terrier with exquisite tastes, too many to mention
Met up with Miss Dapper, a plain yapper at the American Terrier Convention.
Miss Dapper was instantly smitten with this refined and handsome lad.
She told everyone who would listen that she would no longer date a cad.
He has such a fine face she told anyone who would sample talk or listen.
As she talked about this provocative terrier, her eyes would truly glisten.
She talks big and bold her so-called friends said behind her back,
Sure she would scold if she head them talk this kind of smack.
Has that wonderful, kind, sweet dog, Mr. McBisky given her the boot?
We would say behind her back, asking each other with a mean hoot.
He was handsome, well-trimmed, with a butt big and bright and brown.
He may have been the best catch at the ATC and even in the whole town.
That McBisky, he is so frisky we would laugh in a silly jealous sort of way.
Being prissy poodles, were all backstabbing and petty most of the day.
Please do not scoff we were mean, my friends back then.
Most of us truly too green-minded to be Miss Dapper’s friend.
Categories:
yapper, dog,
Form: Rhyme
Surrounded by talking morons
Incessant talkers
Who have nothing to say
Yet do nothing but speak
and speak and speak
and speak and speak and speak
I roll my eyes inside my head as they yap
Communing secretly with another silent one
Wondering if she is on the same wavelength
I laugh when she rolls her eyes, on the outside where I can see
Matter of fact, I cannot stop laughing, and neither can she
We begin eating in a different place, away from our coworkers
who remain constant in their willingness to sit silently while one
yapper who has no new ideas and nothing to say keeps them hostage
Categories:
yapper, friend, work,
Form: Prose Poetry
He may seem small but soon you realize
That a beast within him does reside
Do not approach his space
Or he'll be yapping in your face
He likes to yap
He likes to yap
No shutting his trap
My little doggie likes to yap
It's more than a bark starts as a growl
And he can yap nonstop for hours now
His tail is high his chest is stout
He yaps so hard it's like a shout
He likes to yap
He likes to yap
No shutting his trap
My little doggie likes to yap
It really is personal and he makes it clear
With a howling screech that pierces your ears
He thinks he's rough acting tough
His yapping is really hot stuff
My little security alarm guards me well
No one can approach where I dwell
Cats run, other dogs confused
People smile believing his yapping a ruse
He likes to yap
He likes to yap
No shutting his trap
My little doggie likes to yap yap yap!
Categories:
yapper, dog, funny, pets,
Form: Rhyme
I’d love nothing more than to sit with you
and share a meal split just for two.
I’d order the rainchokes topped with loots
and dip them in your sharkflower shoots.
But sitting in this divine café
is not exactly safe per se.
Which chair to choose can be so tricky-
Sitting down here could make you sprickly.
Avoid the red chair but not the blue:
Unless you see stripes on a figgy-doo.
The chair you chose loves all purple sprink
so be sure you do order that coffee to drink!
A dinner with you for two sounds great!
But as you can see I’m already late
for all of the chairs waiting next in line
to be pulled up, then placed behind.
The dol-yapper seeds will snap with joy
when I bring the next girl and bring the next boy
I will pull up a seat and pull up a chair
and a dinner for three I will start to prepare!
-5/8/2017-
Please pull up a chair (Suess style) contest
Categories:
yapper, childhood, fun, imagination, innocence,
Form: Rhyme
Good evening Miss Becca, I do declare
Would be an honour to pull up a chair
Can we start with beetle hairs on toasted nettle shoots
With your salad of rainchokes and fiddlehead roots
Oh my so delic-ibus I might just have more
Your taste in tucker is first class, I swear
You sure you want me to sit right here
Drinking sarspirella mixed with root beer
Your liking for lardines caused some surprise
Tossed with the tears from a whaleybone's eyes
My whiskers are twitching with pleasure ….you see
sharing your food, is a delight for me
Dessert is just too much, I might give it a miss
Sweet rasponion’s light as a feathers kiss
Sitting here with you is such a delight
Shall we discuss the bug situation all night
So glad you asked me to pull up a chair
Am mewwing so loud it’s almost a purr
So big a tip of dol-yapper seeds
All I did was supply your needs
Thank you for asking me to sit there
Purrfect tabbiness becos you care
penned 7 May 2017
Categories:
yapper, fun,
Form: Couplet