I vaguely remember when you weren't
sick.
I try to wrack my mind to recall who
you once were.
I've always loved you with my whole
heart.
But to be honest, I really don't know
you, I do, but I don't.
You have been sick for so long; it hurts
that I can't make you well.
I've prayed that your sickness would
leave and never return.
When I was younger, I didn't understand
your illness because it wasn't physical.
Medication manages and controls your
symptoms, but you’re not well, you’re
still sick.
I wish I had the chance to really know
the real you.
I believe the real you is somewhere
locked inside your mind.
But your debilitating sickness has you
bound.
Nevertheless, I love you for who you are
now and the person you once were.
02/25/2021
Resubmitted 04/25/2021
Contest: Your Best Free Verse This Year So Far
Sponsor: John Hamilton
Categories:
vaguely, mental illness, sick,
Form: Free verse
If I am my truest, most pure and complete Self
when I feel happy, light hearted, and free,
when I feel depressed, heavy hearted, and stuck,
who am I?
If this is the end of a few years' stint of feeling real - of being real-ly alive...
What does that now make me?
If it can be this easy
to fall away from mySelf -
to lose mySelf,
how do I get back to Me?
If I'm not here,
where am I?..
How strongly do I believe
in my own existence,
if I don't believe
in only existing..?
That's all I'm barely doing right now..
I really don't want to be a dead-weight on the World.
I want to be a part of its buoyancy..
I see occasional glimmers of
Me on a good day,
twinkling like a hopeful star
through a brief gap in a grey night's cloud..
I don't know if that gives me hope
that I've not gone too far,
or makes me sadder that
I'm rarely around..
If it can be this easy to lose Me,
can I also be easily found?..
Categories:
vaguely, depression, grief, heartbreak, hope,
Form: Free verse