Vaguely Poetic Ponderings On the Missingness of Me

If I am my truest, most pure and complete Self
when I feel happy, light hearted, and free,
when I feel depressed, heavy hearted, and stuck,
who am I?

If this is the end of a few years' stint of feeling real - of being real-ly alive... 
What does that now make me? 

If it can be this easy
to fall away from mySelf - 
to lose mySelf, 
how do I get back to Me? 

If I'm not here,
where am I?.. 

How strongly do I believe
in my own existence, 
if I don't believe
in only existing..? 

That's all I'm barely doing right now.. 



I really don't want to be a dead-weight on the World.
I want to be a part of its buoyancy.. 



I see occasional glimmers of 
Me on a good day, 
twinkling like a hopeful star 
through a brief gap in a grey night's cloud.. 

I don't know if that gives me hope
that I've not gone too far, 
or makes me sadder that
I'm rarely around.. 

If it can be this easy to lose Me, 
can I also be easily found?..

Copyright © | Year Posted 2021



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