Vaguely Poetic Ponderings On the Missingness of Me
If I am my truest, most pure and complete Self
when I feel happy, light hearted, and free,
when I feel depressed, heavy hearted, and stuck,
who am I?
If this is the end of a few years' stint of feeling real - of being real-ly alive...
What does that now make me?
If it can be this easy
to fall away from mySelf -
to lose mySelf,
how do I get back to Me?
If I'm not here,
where am I?..
How strongly do I believe
in my own existence,
if I don't believe
in only existing..?
That's all I'm barely doing right now..
I really don't want to be a dead-weight on the World.
I want to be a part of its buoyancy..
I see occasional glimmers of
Me on a good day,
twinkling like a hopeful star
through a brief gap in a grey night's cloud..
I don't know if that gives me hope
that I've not gone too far,
or makes me sadder that
I'm rarely around..
If it can be this easy to lose Me,
can I also be easily found?..
Copyright © Sara Jolly | Year Posted 2021
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