It's enough to make one chunder
there used to be a time Down Under
when fair dinkum the label on the tucker tin
only stated the true blue maker's name
and the Vegemite we'd eat for brekkie contained therein
while not a porky implied mate there's something to hide
with a shonky no responsibility disclaimer
I’m spewin’ cranky as today's focus is on what's not inside
no GMO cholesterol additives gluten calories caffeine nuts
no added colouring sugar preservatives
no artificial sweeteners monounsaturated
no polyunsaturated &/or trans fats
and bloody oath cobber that's not all as I recall
no worries tho' there's also low sodium
not whingeing but one wonders if it's a dodgy admission
there's no bonzer thingo within such as ace nutrition
meanwhile I'll fill my billycan from yon billabong
surrounded by a few emu and a roo or two
as up a gum tree the kookaburra laughingly looks on
there's nothing more I can do so may as well
bung another shrimp on the barbie blow the froth off a few
have one last blast on me didgeridoo Blue and shoot through
Categories:
tucker, food, fun, humorous, words,
Form: Rhyme
Why did little Tommy Tucker
Have to sing for his supper?
Did he stammer and stutter
To merit just bread and butter?
And what miscreant oaf
Would then give him a loaf
But nary a knife to cut through it?
Didn't Tom have enough strife
In his life with no wife,
Or did fat spread on starch
Help him chew it?
Categories:
tucker, humor,
Form: Light Verse
A pirate I knew named Tucker
Was quite a gullible sucker
I mixed his rum with a lime
I said " It'll would taste fine"
So now, He’s a drunken old pucker
Categories:
tucker, humorous,
Form: Limerick
The biggest boy in all the school
Was Charlie Bull, who was no fool!
All the pupils knew the truth,
This bully was just so uncouth.
Every day he had to fight,
He’d bust your nose just for spite.
But nobody could have ever guessed
Why Friday would have been so blessed.
Tucker Short was on his way
To ‘Green Boys High’ that very day.
His surname surely did reflect,
His shortened height in that respect!
Tucker saw the bully coming,
And as the other boys were running,
Looked around to see the fuss,
Then shouted out ‘who’s this big wuss?’
Not a sound could be heard,
As all the pupils stopped and stared,
At a boy no bigger than a mouse,
With the bully as tall as a house!
What’s that you say?’ was Charlie’s bellow,
‘I’ll break your nose, you silly fellow.’
‘I won’t just break it once for fun,
I’ll break it till I’m truly done!’
The fall was quick, he couldn’t see,
The midget who just kicked his knee,
And before he kicked his other leg
The bully said, ‘please stop I beg!’
And on that day at Green Boys High,
The pupils, they did say ‘goodbye’
To Charlie, who just couldn’t hack,
A hero. He would not be back!
Categories:
tucker, bullying, childhood,
Form: Rhyme
Tucker is our eighty pound Dogo
Argentino family pet.
Under foot is where he lays.
Creeping into the kitchen at the
smell of food; hoping, if he’s lucky
he’ll get a crumb, or two.
Keeps me tripping; he’s leading,
then he abruptly stops, to see if
you are still behind.
Evening and morning; you see
two shadows, one is mine, the
other is not.
Rotten; spoiled beyond repair.
He doesn’t know he is a dog,
he thinks he is human.
Categories:
tucker, dog, pets,
Form: Acrostic
A puzzle piece gets tucked away
Inside a resting boot
And Henry, who's the tucker,
Finds this type of thing a hoot.
A book is likewise hidden
In a laundry pail or drawer
Where, if someone isn't watching,
We won't find it anymore.
This hide and seek's adorable
Though it comes with a cost,
For it's just a stroke of luck so far
That nothing has been lost!
Categories:
tucker, child,
Form: Rhyme
You heard about old Tommy Tucker
To me, he’s a real nyuk-nyuker
For he’d make me laugh
When he chugged half & half
And then through his nose he’d up-chucker
Categories:
tucker, funny,
Form: Limerick
Russell Sivey
Contest Name Good Luck Meal
Aussie Drover’s tucker
Build your fire upwind of the billy,
If you want it to more than shepherd boil,
Thick slabs of Corn meat n damper, (camp oven bread)
with a drop of tomato sauce,
Or corn meat fritters fried on the coals,
In kidney fat of course,
A billy full of Bushels tea,
Just sitting on a log,
And banana fried well, fritters,
Washed down with some tea or grog,
Sometimes .
On New year’s days a droving .
Categories:
tucker, adventure,
Form: Ballad
Dear Ebony, Gingy Whingy, and the squawking crows
If they keep this up, we will really come to blows
Its tucker time, and they’re all impatient for a feed
Can’t they that big sign I’m working ever read
Now Ginger’s nudging me with his cute little nose
Dear Ebony, Gingy Whingy, and the squawking crows
I’m fed up to the teeth with his pleading pathetic stare
Always demanding my attention and getting in my hair
Ebony joins him, as the crows resume the racket outside
They all make such a din, it’s just deafening inside
Dear Ebony, Gingy Whingy and the squawking crows
Back off, I need peace for some music to compose
As I stop what I’m doing and to strangle them vows
I cannot resist their pathetic looks and hungry meows
So I relent and then my entire work schedule blows
Dear Ebony, Ginger Whingy and the squawking crows.
Categories:
tucker, pets, work, , cute,
Form: Quatern
Bore drain tucker (stock water channel, cross country from an Artesian bore)
Waiting for a feed on the old bore drain,
Maybe, might not ever rain?
Have me 4 gallon tin full of holes,
To let ole shrimp in,
Or crayfish sweet n old.
Bit of old meat, tied in the tin,
Come on lobby, just jump in,
Reef her out, quickly now,
Shrinps n lobbys tucker, chow.
Put another can on the fire,
Boil em up now, Jeeves esquire,
Sitting on a termite mound,
Sucking scoffing shrimpy down, (like prawns)
Aussie boil here on the ground:
Don Johnson 15-july-11
Categories:
tucker, adventureold, old,
Form: Rhyme
you're my solid rock
*i'll always be writing lines
real deal man of steel
my dream lover true
*i'll always be singing rhymes
about love ov e
above few lines robbed
from youth never forgotten
just as hot today
Categories:
tucker, happiness
Form: Haiku
Old tucker brown wanted to
Go fishing,
He sat and planned his day
Of activity,
He got his fishing gear, with
His rubber boots in hand,
“Oh my gosh”
It is pouring cats and dogs,
Maybe a Cadillac,
One……
At the most, do not know the
Color…
For the clouds were so very
Black..
Well,
At least he thought it was,
You could see his anticipation
As he looked out the window
The excitement aroused as
A rainbow appeared..
He cried out…
With a big yell..
While the wind cease to
Sway….
Clouds dissipated over the little
Fishing pond..
Down the hill….
Well now, it stop pouring cats
And dogs..
Therefore, he kept the Cadillac, which
Color I do not know..
“Oh My Lordy”
Indeed, it is a miracle for the big
Guy, seen fit to pour him out a
Coffee color Cadillac,
Four door Deville…
A platter of catfish and the
Trimmings
Even a shrimp or two
My God, who can ask for
Anything more,
Except for me a pearl color
Escalade…
I wish…
But the story is about old
Tucker Brown...
Categories:
tucker, funny, song-
Form: Ballad