They came in hot, and they came in hard.
What are they? Asked our strangest bard.
They were readily lead in by a lark bunting bird,
We had not a guess, not an idea, not a word.
They were at the carnival fair, is true.
We rarely see the likes of you!
Said one rude dude, whose name is Boon.
We shushed him away, and faced the moon.
The moon did not speak, but had a party hat.
As did the turquoise owl, the boy and the cat.
They were a strange lot, with a dancing mouse.
Wearing a lavender tutu, a ballerina in Touse!
Dressed as jesters, as clowns, and such.
We were intrigued and excited, so very much.
The knight’s horse wore a fancy shawl.
Welcome! We carnies said. “One and all!”
A Monotetra
I moved into a haunted house,
the ghost there was, an obnoxious louse.
he’d sneak up on me like a mouse,
my hair he’d touse, my hair he’d touse.
My best underwear, he hides,
he’s a pervert, I surmise,
gives me a daily surprise,
patience he tries, patience he tries.
He’ll watch me as I’d get undressed,
oh he’s such an obnoxious pest,
he jokes about my naked breasts,
my friends attest, my friends attest.
He likes to tease my ancient cat,
flapping ‘round him like a bat,
as irritating as a gnat,
obnoxious pratt, obnoxious pratt.
I cannot stop this irritant,
my patience, it is quickly spent,
an apartment I’ll have to rent,
or live in tent, or live in tent.
His trickery is just so rife,
with misery and such strife,
why doesn’t he go irritate wildlife,
he plays a fife, he plays a fife.
Keeps me awake, I cannot sleep,
spews adjectives that need be bleeped,
I wish I could just can that creep,
such joy I’d reap, such joy I’d reap.
Twas the night after Christmas
Alone with my tinder, ex-spouse
Holed up with this fumigating grouse
Trite presents with her I did douse
Wrapped with old newspaper that she did delouse
With boiling anger she did fumble then browse
From recycled boxes pulled a dingy sweater and moldy blouse
Fueled by spite she began to spew and touse
When to her glee, she my present did espouse
An unwrapped cask of cheap wine, she did uprouse
She intimated that I could now intox and bouse
While she with a better man did carouse
After a few drinks, the blanched holly and mildewing mistletoe did
arouse
A tender feeling for that renovated louse
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