Torturously Poems


Premium MemberPiercing Torturously

Torturous to have one of these staples
Piercing through my tender skin
Need to find remover

Russell Sivey
...
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Categories: torturously, life,
Form: Kimo

Premium MemberLying Torturously

Torturous to lose one of these staples
Lying flat is not pleasant
Need my pillow back please

Russell Sivey
...
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Categories: torturously, life,
Form: Kimo


Ten Thousand Torturously Terrible Tom's Tidbits (Three)

46)Gangsta' Rap- When a wanted felon knocks on your door.

47)Nostalgia- A towel specifically for one's nose.

48)Breakfast Schnook- An idiot who will eat carpet tacks when asked.

49)Scorpion- A bullseye when urinating on a schmuck.

50)Eye-Shot- A dummy so drunk he tries to take a measure of whisky through his 
eyeball.

51)Postulate- When the damn mailman finally shows up.

52)Short-Ton-
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Categories: torturously, imagination, on writing and
Form: Burlesque

Ten Thousand Torturously Terrible Tom's Tidbits (One)

1)I've visited Pool Halls at least 100 times, and I ain't yet found a pool there.  I got 
so disgusted, I stopped carrying my bathingsuit around.

2)My girlfriend sent me an Afghan, but I don't speak his language.  Her note said 
he was supposed to keep me warm, but I couldn't use him for
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Categories: torturously, funny, on writing and
Form: Burlesque

Ten Thousand Torturously Terrible Tom's Tidbits (Two)

12)Coddle- Two fish enrapt in love.

13)Mustard- A diarrhea victim who can wait no longer.

14)Jam Session- A gathering of sweet-toothed weirdos with various jams and 
jellies.

15)Coffee Table- An occasional table made of stale and hard coffee beans.

16)Condom- A very stupid prisoner.

17)Confederate- An inmate who nourishes his cellmate with food he sneaks 
from the mess hall.

18)Condiment- A
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Categories: torturously, funny, imagination, on writing
Form: Burlesque


A Touching Ton of Tom's Torturously Terrrible Tid-Bits

"The Young and the Breathless"- TV soap opera about youg emphysema 
patients unfaithful to their doctors.

Candid- Something you could do, and did do.

Phone Call- Bidding your phone to come to you.

Binary- What you can purchase with nary any money.

Nascent- Odorless.

Philosophy- Phil Silvers designing soffits.

Surcharge- Driving down Rt. Number One on the Big Sur at 70
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Categories: torturously, fantasy, funny, imagination, on
Form: Burlesque

A Titch More of Tom's Torturously Terrrible Tidbits

I went to buy an R.V.
They said all I could afford was a Lose-a Beggo.

I bought a pair of alligator shoes.
But then I started wandering off into swamps.
Finally, I had to toss them, they were
really biting my feet.
I got arrested for tossing
an endangered species.

I got a fantastic price on a
1995 calendar.

I discovered the Missing Link.
(Of
...
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Categories: torturously, funny, on writing and
Form: Burlesque
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