The smartphones we’ve all come to use
Have features too good to refuse,
Like autocorrect—
Though, in retrospect,
This blasting is also a cruise.
My warm body's on permanent loan to Big Pharma;
I am chancing my health but could care less for karma.
All that money they pay is too good to refuse;
So with minimal risk I have little to lose.
Man, I shovel their food and I watch lots of cable;
And I gain as much weight as I'm possibly able.
I will sleep like Prince Charming awaiting a kiss
From young nurses so sweet their mere presence is bliss.
I can do what I want from pre-dawn to late night
Just as long as I don't give the staffers a fright.
I take nice, long hot showers until I'm beet red;
Some warm milk with six cookies, and then on to bed.
It's pure Heaven, I tell you, it's every man's dream;
You relax all the time, eat desserts with whipped cream,
Then you mark off each day as it languidly fades,
Blithely block out the world by extending the shades.
So work smarter, not harder, all you Type-A's out there;
And let stress be a kind of a fast fading nightmare
Out of which you've been wakened by a woman's soft voice
As she calls you to breakfast, and makes note of your choice.
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