There lives a gentleman from Luff
Who walks everywhere in the buff
His weeny is teeny
He calls it his winky
A stump that can't fill a cream puff.
Ladies would be left in despair
But he didn't really care
He got what he wanted
Frustrated, they taunted
And decided give him a scare.
They tied him to an 'lectric chair
Placed electrodes on you know where
They pulled down on the switch
His stump started to twitch
It stood bright like a giant flare
You'd think he would very happy
Making a stump long and snazzy
The women were smiling
The man was now crying
Wink shrivelled, weirdly and badly
From that day he always wore clothes
With women he instantly froze
He's fearful of leccy
Winky is now Becky
And parades in yearly freak shows.
25.07.25
Itsy-bitsy and itty-bitty were going to the fair.
Teeny-weeny and Mr. Leany said “we’ll meet you there.”
Had a strong drink that none of them could handle.
We had to lead them home by horse, carriage and candle.
The teeny weeny arachnid
crawled up my dingy wall.
Little did he know
this would turn into a brawl.
Then I grabbed a shoe
held it high above my head.
And the teeny weeny arachnid
is now officially dead.
*Nearly two years ago, on April 2, 2021, I decided to try ’30 days of poetry.’ This was day two and the prompt was: Read a nursery rhyme poem and make it your own. I was inspired by “The Itsy Bitsy Spider” and decided to change the words to this childhood classic and make it a fractured nursery rhyme.
It seems Scott was just a bit silly
The North Pole is ever so chilly
He’s gone for a burton
And you can be certain
He died with a very small Willy
Teeny Weeny Little Star
Now I know what you are
Why you live so high
Up above in the sky
Why you shine in the night
Like a Diamond bright
Will come to see you soon
After I've been to the moon
Teeny Weeny Little Star
Now I know what you are.
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