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Premium Member Saddest Day of the Year

Third Monday of January 
some say it’s the year’s saddest day, 
windy weather and scattered snow
could hold into February.
Yet in bleak gloom, a bright hope glows
as I butter my breakfast toast
and open up your email post
to learn that your arrival’s nigh
truly raises my spirits high.
But looking round I realize
our house resembles porcine styes
to leave, as is, could jeopardize
our status matrimonial
which might become divorceial.
Floors must be washed and dishes too
sheets to change and laundry to do
fridge to clean, garbage to take out
change the washer on dripping tap.
At last all is done, without doubt 
I’ve escaped the wife’s away trap

Premium Member Doctors

Ophthalmologist
   Checked eyes
   Have styes

Proctologist
   Drop drawers
   Up yours

Plastic Surgeon
   Replace
   Plain face

Gastroenterologist
   Pass gas
   No class

Dermatologist
   All sorts
   Of warts

Audiologist
   Can't hear
   Bad ear

Dentist
   No Floss
   Gross dross

Psychiatrist
   Your bean
   Not keen

Podiatrist
   Big toe
   Must go

ENT Specialist
   Ope' maw
   Say ahhh

Allergist
   Please sneeze
   Don't wheeze

Cardiologist
   Poor bloke
   Had stroke

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(c) 2015 All Rights Reserved

Entry for Judy Konos' "Your Footle Poem" Contest

Styes

It was a searing moment in grueling
heat of your flesh, the racist attack had come
to surface, the blue eyes,

edible gold, in nights
the pink veil of the moon,
I will cut my wrist to pour out the pure vermillion;

a huge umbrella of hot kisses
dissolving the contaminated beads
of musk, like fever;

the smoke rolls down the hills
of collective guilt,
an anonymous warning;

the frozen voice opens
like a black tulip on baby ice,
down under goes the sun.



SATISH VERMA


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