Statisticians Poems | Examples


List of Member Poems

Premium Member Sunny Side Up

So what if the markets all opened down
   The sun’s up and shining all over town

And as for the latest round of hot weather
   Folks survived ‘dust bowls’ by sticking together

Then there’s the rising price of gasoline
   I’ll just ride my bike and keep my car clean

And, OMG, look at what meat and fish cost
   America’s obese! Eating less is no loss

I guess it’s my nature to be optimistic
   Leave the statisticians churn out statistics

Nothing To See Here

significant and alarming rises in deaths
shootings
murders

mow the lawn
go shopping
watch football
crack open cold ones
make babies
jiggle babies on laps

significant hurricanes and tornados
there are deaths

baby showers
graduations
weddings

domestic violence is significantly up
up being a surge
of consumer consumption
of cars and televisions 
anything 
killings in the market place

mow the grass
grill
drink 
drink more

significant rise in alcoholism
the authorities are stump
the president is stumped
the cops are leaving town
adultery is up
statisticians are stumped
sex crimes significantly up
up being a rise in blood temperature
death by misadventures
gang warfare
social unrest
funerals 
upheavals of unrest at funerals
fights with fists

homicides hover over critical mass
significant amount of anger and rage
eruptions
mayhem

take the poodle to the pound
kidnap a Pitbull
mow the cat
kill the dinner
kiss the kids
divorce the mower
drink
jail
drugs
dead head 

dead head the blood red roses
sing a song of freedom

Trump Giving Us the Shaft and More

Trump Giving Us the Shaft

Knock, knock, knock and guess who's here;
It must be foolish Trump with all of his fear;
Executive order;
Go to border;
Who had given us the shaft  with his spear.


Jim Horn

A declarant, generally speaking, is anyone who 
composes and signs a statement or declaration 
alleging that the information he has given therein
is true. This differs from an affiant, as in the case
of an affidavit the facts therein are sworn to before
a notary public or other official, and a declaration 
is usually made by one person for the use of another.

Statisticians and Declarant Rights 

Statisticians do have rights that are declarant
Along with analysis of variance that is inherent,
And creation,
Of correlation,
We already had assumed was quite apparent.

Jim Horn


Guess I passed ten again.


Premium Member 350,000 Reasons

Each day around the world over 350,000 babies are born 
or so the statisticians say
350,000 babies…welcomed into our world each day.

350,000 first time parents..who are excited (but don’t have clue!)
as are their grandparents, aunts and uncles…brothers and sisters too.

350,000 reasons to smile…reason for families across the world to beam.
350,000 reasons for those families to cherish…to hope…to wonder…to dream.

350,000 reasons to ponder how so many of our lives interweave.
350,000 reasons to trust in the universe…to  marvel…to admire… to believe.

350,000 reasons to delight in a day with so much happiness in store
and to be enchanted by the fact that…tomorrow…they’ll be 350,000 reasons more.

Statistics

Never Trust Statisticians... 
They say that lightning never hits the same spot twice
Ha! I’d laugh at that if I could.
I lived my life, an exception to the rule
Never falling into stereotypes.
Yet I lived happy with my exceptionality.
Now I cry “Alas that I had to be so different!”
As I made my way home through a crashing thunderstorm,
Lightning hit the ground in front of me
And threw me off my feet.
“Whew!” I thought in vast relief, and rolled back on my knees.
Happy-go-lucky then, I began a whistling tune.
Feeling safe and secure in statistics,
I went on my merry way.
Alas, alack! I took one step and ZAP!
The lightning bolt hit twice.

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